A read-only archive of discourse.darkjedibrotherhood.com as of Sunday May 01, 2022.

[2015-01] Contract 043: Aexod Burgoo & Locke Sonjie - Infiltration, A-Class

RowenaMagnuri

Sadow Palace
Sepros, Orian System, Outer RIm Territories
1450 Hours

“And just why am I being contacted by an Arconan Quaestor?” Sonjie queried, looking away from the projected figure.

“As of this moment, I’m contacting you as the Commissioner of the Antei Contract Bureau. There’s an object within your system that needs to be acquired in a… more subtle manner.”

“Oh?”

“The details will be uploaded once you use the biometric scanner. Bring along a Journeyman for the trip to aid in your task.”


x://_Encrypted File
x://_Biometrics Confirmed
x://_Identity Verified: Locke Sonjie

Missions Details:

Consul Sonjie,

You have been chosen to perform a task set out by the Antei Contract Bureau. Recent information has indicated that a relic of great significance is contained within a vault of the Sypros Security Investments building. When under questioning, the contractor revealed that very few knew of the existence of the vault in question aside from the CEO and certain contractors The vault in question is located behind a false wall behind the CEO’s office desk, which also contains the files on their less than legal ventures and jewels.

Good luck.

Regards,
-Celevon Edraven
Commissioner, Antei Contract Bureau
Authorized Signature(s)
-Voice Of The Dark Jedi Brotherhood-
-Grand Master of the Dark Jedi Brotherhood-

Parameters:
Infiltrate the Headquarters of Sepros Security Investments, obtain the relic and escape without giving away your identities. Take one of the files and the jewels as well to make it seem like a robbery - the file itself could be used in future for blackmail purposes should you require it. Down the street from the building, you will find your contact at a tavern. The contact will be having marital issues and drinking away his sorrows. Deliver the relic to this man and your mission will be complete.

LockeSonjie

Cantina
Seng Karash
Aeotheran

The cantina was alive with the mixed sounds of dozens of conversations going on at once. Locke leaned back in the sheltered booth he occupied along one wall. The sound grew slightly more quiet as he sipped the drink he had ordered. Locke had little taste for the stuff, but knew it would have been suspicious to order nothing. He watched the crowd, raising the hood of his cloak a bit more. It was merely paranoia: here, in the slums of Seng Karash, he was unlikely to be recognized. Even so, many others hid their faces for one reason or another.

Taking another drink, Locke considered the mission he had been given. It gave no details of the relic he was to recover. It did not say what exactly he would be up against. It merely stated that there was a relic to recover and that it would need to be obtained “subtly”.

That meant that Locke could not walk in and demand the relic be turned over in the name of Naga Sadow. He could also not call on the Warhost’s troops to assist. The Arcanist knew that he would have to hide his identity, and this made the mission much more difficult. Even if his face was not known in this cantina, business executives would probably recognize it, especially if he was caught on camera. Although he was human and humans were common in the Orian System, his combination of eye and hair color was somewhat rare.

He thought about completing this mission alone, but realized that might prove to be impossible. Infiltration was not his forte. He would need backup on this one. There were many veterans of the clan that Locke could probably trust to assist in this mission, but they were so used to using the Force and their lightsaber to solve problems. He needed someone who could use the Force, but had not come to rely on it: someone who had not been using the Force for a long time.

That meant one of the clan’s journeymen. Locke pulled up his datapad, cycling through the list. He sighed, frustrated that he barely knew any of the newest members of his clan. In his desire to not be alien to the people following him, Locke had devoted considerable time to visiting the soldiers and officers who worked for him. In so doing, he realized that he had neglected the new members of his clan.

I don’t know any of these people, Locke thought. That would have to change. He flicked through the Rollmaster’s analysis of each one, until a particular one caught his eye. This one was an Iridonian, who had shown considerable ability with bladed weapons and martial arts. There was a note next to his name that marked him as a less than honorable fighter, with a warning to instructors to be wary of this.

His name was Aexod Burgoo, and he was a Zabrak.

“Perfect,” Locke grumbled, his voice inaudible in the din of the cantina. He attached a headset to his comlink and placed it on his head before beginning the call. He would contact the Rollmaster’s office, and have the Acolyte sent to rendezvous with a contact in one of Seng Karash’s alleyways. It would be unlikely for anyone to question such a mission, and by leaving his own name out he would ensure that a retinue of Warhost soldiers would not descend to “guard” him and ruin the mission.


Several Hours Later
Alleyway
Seng Karash

Still wrapped in his cloak, Locke waited patiently in the shadows of the alleyway. He looked up and down it, noting the absence of any living beings here. The hum of the city was still audible, but distant, isolated by the high walls where the back side of two different, massive buildings stood somewhat apart.

A short time later a cloaked figure entered the alleyway. The figure proceeded to the center, stepped to one side, and threw back the hood of his cloak, revealing a Zabrak’s distinct features underneath. Beyond that, his outfit was simple, and it seemed that he had brought as little as possible. This must have been Aexod, as the man fit his description.

Locke tossed back his own cloak and stepped from the shadows, speaking just loudly enough to be heard.

“So, you have come, Aexod” he said.

Aexod turned toward him. “Finally, what’s this about?” he demanded, a slight grin crossing his face. " How do you know my name? You’d better have a good answer."

Locke breathed deeply. His first urge was to lash out at the man, but instead he let his Force senses expand. The Zabrak was full of the dark side and it seemed, for the moment, that he had chosen his path. He also seemed impatient and arrogant, so Locke got right to the point.

“The clan requires your help on a mission that could use your skills. My name is Locke, by the way, Locke Sonjie. But don’t say that too loudly. And I know your name because I had you summoned here.”

The Zabrak’s mouth worked for a moment, as if trying out the name. Then he chuckled and pointed a finger at Locke. “That’s the name of the clan’s Consul. You’re not very funny.”

“No joke,” Locke answered. “It’s me. Just Locke, though. All those titles make my skin crawl.”

“You do look like him,” Aexod said. “Very well, what do you care for me? Do you want one of your rivals killed? Or did the clan stores run out and you need a drink swindled from some sad cantina?”

Locke chose his words carefully, thinking how this may seem. “You’re not to be a pawn. I have simply found that your skills may be very helpful on a mission we must undertake together. It’s rather straightforward: we have to break into a security firm’s office building and steal some stuff, while not revealing our identities. So I can’t just walk in and make demands, or brandish a lightsaber and fling the Force all over the place.”

“You want a relic?” Aexod laughed. “I can get it on my own. You would probably let get in the way.”

“Maybe,” Locke said, “but this is my mission, and I need you. It’s not a solo job.”

Aexod still did not seem convinced. “Why me and not someone of higher rank?”

Locke had anticipated that sort of question, but still paused before answering, choosing his words carefully. In the end, he decided to be honest.

“Most of them are too tied to their lightsabers and Force abilities. These are the primary tools of most Jedi or Dark Jedi after a certain point, and they forget the finer points of mundane combat. I fear that if I brought one of them along, they would jeopardize the mission, or cause far more collateral damage that is necessary. On the other hand, I believe you have experience with this sort of thing. So what do you say? I won’t kill or mutilate you for saying no, but consider the doorways it would open for you if we did work together.”

Locke did not like to leverage his position, but he left the last bit as a hint, just in case. Many Sith were lured by the possibility of power, and he wanted to know if Aexod was the same way.

EvelynnWyrm

Alleyway
Seng Karash
Aeotheran

Aexod thought of the possibilities. This could be his one way ticket to getting an easy promotion, but he wasn’t going to show weakness to the Consul.

“I open my own doorways. Always have, always will. So, unless ordered to assist you, I’d rather get back to my ale.” Aexod said, trying his best to act cool. It’s not every day you get a job proposal from the Consul.

“Well then, I order you to assist me. Maybe you change your mind and see that teamwork sometimes does a job better than personal wits.” Locke was good at this, and Aexod knew he wouldn’t win the word battle against him. He decided to stop the bickering for the time being, and play along with the Augur’s demands.

“Alright, I need more information if I’m supposed to do this. As I understood, we can’t just barge in and wreak havoc in there?”

“Precisely,” Locke replied, taking out his personal datapad and handing it over to the Acolyte. “Here are the details. I hope I’ve made it clear that this stays strictly between us? You know the consequences of disobedience in the clan.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it,” Aexod said, not able to control his loose tongue even in the presence of his superiors. “When do we leave?”

“Immediately.”


Cockpit
Lambda-class T-4a shuttle
Orian System

After reading the mission information, Aexod knew exactly why he was the one chosen for the job. No barging in, no killing, no exposure. He was perfect for it, and was satisfied that he would finally get the chance to show what he’s capable of.

As the shuttle approached Sepros, Aexod concentrated on the terrain of the surface. It was disgusting. Vast jungles, with just a few openings where mostly unfinished or abandoned buildings stood. He’d read about it before, and remembered that it was often called “shadow lands” due to the fact that barely any light reached the surface. That, at least, was a big plus for the duo, as the chance of someone spotting the shuttle descending was slim.

From the sky, the Headquarters they were to infiltrate were clearly visible. Lights surrounded the building, and Aexod was sure there were cameras and personnel guarding every entrance to the building. Locke indicated that they had to land a bit further away from the facility than they would have liked, due to the fact that it was surrounded by the jungle, making it impossible to land anywhere near it without authorisation.


Jungle Outskirts
Sepros
Orian System

“Well that was fun!” Aexod exhaled, already exhausted from fighting off the hordes of jungle predators on this idiotic planet. What Locke said about using lightsabers and barging in would have to be true, but not for the reasons he specified. The humidity of the planet was so high, they would surely lose power within minutes of use.

“Alright, we’re here,” Locke said, looking at the massive building in front of them. “Remember the plan, or do you need a quick reminder?”

“Get in, steal, get out. Relax, it’ll be a piece of cake.” Aexod said, smiling at the Consul.

What an odd individual, Locke thought. He disliked these types of people, without any sense of responsibility, without realization of how grave the situation was. Though he found that being strict and cruel was unnecessary and a laid back and friendly approach gave better results, he thought this was too much. He pondered if bringing this goof for such a serious task was the right thing to do. Oh well, too late now, I’ll just have to control him.

The entry plan was fairly straightforward, though difficult to execute. Locke, being the influential man he was, used his personal contacts to obtain the architectural plans of the building. The plan was to enter the facility through the garbage chute, enter the ventilation system, use it to gain access to the CEO’s office. The problem was they had no knowledge of the defenses, and decided to think of ways to deal with them on the fly. One thing was certain; it wouldn’t be as easy as the Shadow made it seem.


Headquarter Garbage Chute
Sepros
Orian System

The garbage chute was huge, easily wide enough to fit the two Sadowians. However, the smell of rotten food and other organic trash wasn’t as accommodating.

“Still smells better than those beasts,” Aexod smirked. “I reckon you aren’t too used to these conditions, Sir.”

“Just shut up and keep going, the quicker we exit this place, the better.” Locke replied, with a disgusted look on his face. They made their way to a large tunnel with a rail that Aexod was sure was used for the garbage haulers that transported trash from the random chute exits to the main disposal area. This was a perfect entry location for the two, as the disposal area was connected to the main ventilation grid of the facility.

“This way,” Locke whispered, holding his datapad in hand, and started running down the tunnel. The easy part was over, they would have to be as quiet as possible from now on.

LockeSonjie

Headquarter Garbage Chute
Sepros
Orian System

Locke hated stealth almost as he hated the smell of the trash chute they had just passed through. He ran down the tunnel, wishing he could just take a very long bath back on Aeotheran.

He looked at his datapad. Apparently, this tunnel led to the ventilation grid. “So after this, we’re going to have to crawl through vents?” he asked.

Aexod jogged beside him. “Unless you’d rather walk in the front door, but I think the trash smell would ruin any charisma you might’ve had.”

Groaning, Locke stopped as they came to the end of the corridor. He panted and sighed, looking at the datapad and then at the room the corridor opened up into. It was filled with large garbage bins on rails, with chutes leading directly into them. He had no idea how it all worked, but fortunately, there was also a ventilation shaft nearby.

Fortunately, this area appeared to be completely automated and there were no people.

“Well, looks like we’re crawling through that,” Locke said. He approached the vent and summoned the Force. He wrapped it around the vent cover and it’s latch, gently removing it from the vent with almost no noise before setting it to the side.

“You first,” he said.

“Why?” Aexod asked.

“Because you’re the one who’s supposed to be good at this.”

“Right,” the Zabrak answered, crawling into the vent. “But you’d better not turn and run away if we’re detected.”

“Don’t count on it,” Locke replied. “Marcus would kill me.”

He crawled in after the Zabrak, barely fitting in the shaft behind him. In there, the smell was magnified.

“Remind me to send someone else or opt for the less subtle approach next time,” Locke grumbled, his voice echoing slightly in the tight space.

Aexod just laughed. “Sometimes you have to get a little dirty. I know you’re probably not too used to that, Consul.”

“Hey hey,” Locke grumbled. “Focus on the mission. Make a right up here. That should take us toward a maintenance stair well.”

When they got there, they began climbing up it. About halfway up, Aexod broke the silence.

“You know, I sort of wonder. Why doesn’t a high class firm like this have any security in their ventilation system. Like a motion detector or something?”

Locke mulled it over. “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe they have rats or regularly have maintenance workers in here. Besides, according to this map, the closest ventilation shaft big enough for us to fit in exits a few rooms away from where we’re going.”

“Oh, great,” Aexod answered sarcastically.

“We’ll be there soon,” Locke said.

A few minutes later, they were looking out between the bars of a vent exit, staring at an office chair behind a desk, with some being sitting in it.

“Any ideas?” Locke whispered. He would have really liked to just come out shooting, but that wouldn’t necessarily work in this situation, and that was why he had brought Aexod in the first place.

“Yeah, hold on.” Aexod seemed to focus for a moment, hand up and pointing at the person in the office chair. He closed his eyes, and the Force seemed to surge within him for a moment.

Suddenly, the man in the chair stood up, and stomped around the desk angrily. “What?” he said. “Whose there?” He left the room, off to the right, the opposite direction they needed to go.

“What did you do?” Locke asked, as he used his own Force abilities to quietly remove the vent cover.

“Just had him hear a particularly negative statement from around the corner, but we’d better go.”

“Right,” Locke agreed. They slipped out of the vent and quietly turned the corner, heading for the next room.

EvelynnWyrm

Small Office
Sepros
Orian System

“Hold it,” Locke whispered, pressing one hand to the Zabrak’s chest and using the other to point out the possibility of security cameras in the corridor in front of them. “Hoods up.”

They both put on their hoods, and stepped toward the door leading to the main corridor toward the CEO’s office. Once inside, they’d have to make a left turn about 10 meters in, and walk straight forward. The hard part was, they had no idea what kind of defenses were between them and the office.

Aexod heard a sound coming from the corridor, and signaled his Consul to take cover. He then vanished from sight, entering the corridor only to see the officer that he had distracted making his way back to the office they were in. Still hidden from sight, he took out one of his throwing stars and snuck up behind the human. As the man stepped back into the cubicle, Aexod thrust the throwing star directly into the man’s neck, severing his spinal cord and watching the lifeless body fall toward the floor. He quickly caught the man before the impact, trying his best to avoid the thud the corpse would make.

“Was that really necessary?” Locke said, clearly frustrated that his companion cold bloodedly killed the man.

“Hey, you wanna get caught? Besides, we got you a nice uniform so you can walk around unnoticed.” Aexod smirked, not at all disturbed about the murder. Mission or not, chances of survival if caught at this point were low, and he wasn’t about to risk his life to preserve some nobody.

Locke sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to have an easy time influencing the Sith. It is a good idea, can’t take that away from him, he thought, changing into the uniform while Aexod dragged the body behind a desk located across the doorway.

“Here’s the plan, I’ll walk through to the end of the corridor and check if there are any guards. If there aren’t, I’ll signal you to follow me, using that invisibility trick again, and you’ll disable the security cameras.” Locke said, taking back the lead of the mission. Did he give too much power to the Acolyte? His skills were more than useful on this mission, but somehow Locke was worried that he was no longer in charge here, the recent murder of an innocent bystander proof of that.

“Sure thing, boss,” Aexod replied, watching Locke move into the hall wearing his new beige outfit. The Augur made his way to the end of the hall, making a left turn, and disappearing from Aexod’s sight. A few seconds later, he was walking back this way accompanied by two guards.

“…can’t believe those idiots are causing trouble again. Thanks for the heads up, we’ll get right to it,” one of the guards said as they passed the room Aexod was in.

Locke made his way back up the hall, making a hand gesture as he passed the door, signaling Aexod to move. Aexod disappeared from sight once again, and followed the Arcanist into the corridor. He spotted two security cameras in opposite sides of the hall, both looking toward the center. They would have to coordinate in order to simultaneously disable both of them. Aexod moved toward the corridor entrance, while Locke stood at the L turn, waiting for the Shadow to reveal himself.

Aexod ignited his lightsaber, removing the surveillance camera from its position and slicing it in half midair. Lightning emerged from Locke’s fingertips the instant he heard the snap-hiss of the lightsaber, as he fried the other camera.

“Nice reflexes,” Aexod said, running up to his superior.

“Thanks, now hurry.”

They entered the CEO’s office, knowing full well that there would be no cameras or guards inside. After closing the door, they moved toward the desk.

“The commissioner said something about a double wall behind the desk, try and find some sort of switch or pass…” Locke started, rudely interrupted by another lightsaber ignition. The idiot Acolyte had plunged his lightsaber into the wall, and was cutting open a hole for them to go through. Locke saw a small red light flash on the CEO’s desk.

“Idiot! You’ve triggered their silent alarm!” he said, furious at the Iridionan.

“It’s been on ever since we entered the room. Figured we don’t have much time before the guards come back, and in greater numbers.” Aexod replied, smiling back at his Consul, just as the large chunk of wall fell to the ground, revealing another room behind it.

Without notice, the wailing of sirens filled the room.

Warning! Security breach detected! Lockdown in progress!

LockeSonjie

Locke winced at the sudden blaring alarm. It was less from shock and more at the fact that it meant they were discovered. He watched Aexod slowly cut through the false wall, his lightsaber seeming to move at a crawl.

“They’re going to be here any second,” Locke said.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Aexod muttered, still cutting the wall.

“Right,” Locke replied, looking around. The CEO’s office only had one entrance. It had a window opposite the desk, but that window was several stories up and likely protected in some way. It might have made a nice entry point, except that it would have alerted the corporation right away. That wasn’t an issue now, however.

Without really thinking about it, Locke summoned the Force. He grabbed the CEO’s nice office chair and yanked it toward the window. It slammed into the window and bounced off, only leaving a crack.

“Seriously?” Locke growled. He heard shouts in the distance. The Arcanist thought about using his lightsaber, but decided there wasn’t enough time. He pulled his slugthrower free of it’s holster and fired several shots into the window. The first three did nothing, then the next left cracks that spider-webbed out from their centers. Still, the window held.

Locke grumbled a curse under his breath and tossed one of his thermal detonators toward the window. He glanced at Aexod, intending to warm him. The Zabrak was still cutting, but had looked back at Locke after hearing the slugthrower firing. He arched an eyebrow just before the detonator exploded against the base of the window.

When it dissipated, there was no window. “Finally,” Locke said. He heard footsteps now and turned toward the exit to the CEO’s office, rolling another detonator that direction. He hoped the resulting explosion would keep security away for a few more moments.

The Arcanist stepped to the window and looked down, then up, ignoring the loud explosion behind him. The street was far below; a typical ledge far above them. That part of the building’s architecture would come in handy. He holstered his slugthrower and readied his blaster pistol.

Locke fired the SH-9’s ascension gun, the grappling hook launching up and catching on the ledge. He tugged it twice to test it and was satisfied that it held. Looking inside, the Arcanist noted that Aexod had nearly finished cutting a hole in the false wall behind the CEO’s desk.

“Aexod,” Locke said, getting the Zabrak’s attention. “When you’re done, use this to get safely to ground level. When you flick this switch, it will lower you, the other one raises you, got it?”

“Yeah, and where are you going?” Aexod asked.

Locke looked toward the door. “I’m covering your escape. Get the relic to our contact and report back to the Rollmaster. I’ll get in touch with him to make sure you got out alright and that the mission is successful, then report back to the Commissioner. Good luck.”

“Right,” Aexod said. “Don’t get killed.”

“Definitely not planning on it,” Locke mumbled. He stepped out of the office and slid the door shut behind him.

He was face to face with three security guards. Each carried blaster carbines and had them pointed at Locke.

“Howdy folks,” Locke said.

Please don’t recognize me.

They didn’t. They examined him, obviously noting the uniform. Perhaps they thought him some high level member of their organization.

“What were you doing in the CEO’s office?” one asked, voice tense.

“I heard sirens, so I came running,” Locke said. He chose his words carefully, trying to concoct a story on the fly. “The CEO isn’t there, but someone was trying to break in or something. I chased them out, though!”

The guard didn’t look impressed. “We still need to investigate, but it’s good that you are not harmed.”

Then there was a sudden loud thud from the office. Locke hoped that was Aexod breaking into the vault.

“What was that? Get out of the way!”

“Now now,” Locke said, voice rising in pitch, but tone staying even. “Are you doubting me?”

“There was a noise,” another guard said. “We should check it out.”

“The office was damaged,” Locke replied, “maybe it was a wall falling. It’s probably not safe in there.”

Another thud seemed to punctuate his statement. _Okay, I really hope that was the vault this time.

The guard wasn’t impressed. “Even so, it is our duty to check, even if you are an executive. Step aside. Now.” He gestured to one of the others, who stepped forward and pushed Locke toward one wall. The Bakuran let himself be moved, staying silent for now.

You’d better be done, Aexod!

As the two other guards passed by Locke, the third released him and followed. The Arcanist walked in behind them, quietly slipping his slugthrower out of it’s belt holster.

“There’s no one here,” one guard said.

Wait, Locke told himself. He really hated infiltration. The Arcanist summoned the Force, improving his senses. His hands became steady, his arms enhanced. He held that power ready.

“The vault has been opened!” another shouted.

Wait, Locke sized up the guards. One stood in the middle of the office, another behind the CEO’s desk. The third was slowly approaching the gaping window. The Force gathered within the Arcanist…

Remind me never to take another infiltration mission.

The third guard stepped to the window and pointed his carbine downward. “There’s someone out here!” he yelled.

Now. In one quick motion, Locke raised his slugthrower and fired through the back of the guard’s knee. He cried out and dropped to the ground, landing right next to the window. Locke moved quickly, firing at the guard by the vault, his shot entering the man’s shoulder. Finally, he aimed at the third one and fired.

The shot missed. “Kriffing piece of bantha puuduu,” Locke growled, advancing on the guard so the man couldn’t use his carbine. Locke threw an awkward punch at the man, but the guard easily dodged it. He grabbed Locke, and before the Arcanist knew it, he was on the ground in a chokehold.

His mind raced as Locke tried to figure out the best thing to do. He tightly gripped the arm around his neck, trying to amplify his strength with the Force. It didn’t help. The man was just too strong. It seemed that Locke might have no choice but to use a more overt form of the Force. Maybe, if it was quick enough, the guard would later doubt himself, and this would just be a rumor.

The Arcanist channeled his fury at being held like this. He added his anger at Aexod for killing that executive and seeming to not care for Locke’s orders. He used those emotions to fill himself with the dark side. Then he restrained it, and released a small burst.

For a moment, lightning crackled over Locke’s fingertips. The guard shouted a curse and let go, staring at his arm in confusion.

Locke scrambled to his feet. “Sorry, taser ,” he said. He heard more guards coming. “I’d really like to stay, but I don’t think I’m welcome.”

He risked a glance over his shoulder. They were several floors up. It seemed suicidal to jump out the window, but it was also his only hope. If he stayed, he would be captured. The mission would be a failure. His enemies would know where he was and the clan’s position would be significantly weakened.

Well, maybe I can use the Force to make this hurt less, at least.

Cursing under his breath again, Locke stepped out of the building. He dropped instantly, trying to focus on summoning the Force to strengthen his leg muscles. At the same time, he gathered the Force as if for a telekinetic burst, and aimed his palm at the ground.

Then, just before he hit, Locke released that energy. The Arcanist still slammed into the ground, feeling ribs crack, something in his forearm shatter, and the air knocked out of him. He stumbled and rolled, releasing the Force. The Arcanist struggled to his feet, pushing himself on sheer willpower alone. He coughed up blood as he hobbled into the nearest alleyway and did his best to disappear.

Hearing shouts behind, Locke zigzagged through alleyways, his own heartbeat growing louder in his ears. Finally, he turned a corner and sagged, sitting on the ground. The shouting did not grow louder. He still had his comlink and gripped it tightly in one hand, thinking about who he could call.

I can’t make a scene, and I can’t let someone capitalize on this.

He’d call Teu. He still had a code to reach out to his old master, and the worst thing she would do is scold him. The Arcanist turned the comlink on, keyed the distress code, and relaxed.


Some time later, Aexod found Locke. “I delivered the relic and it appears we’re in the clear,” he said. “Though, there’s a story all over the news about an armed robbery. They say two individuals used heavy explosives to force their way into their headquarters in a random robbery. One had a cutting tool that may have been a lightsaber, but they aren’t sure.”

“Great,” Locke breathed. “Mission accomplished.”

“Yeah,” Aexod said, “but you look like you lost a fight with a bantha.”

“I’m fine,” Locke lied. “Go report back to the Rollmaster. I’ll get out of here on my own.”

Aexod laughed, paused, and stood up. He seemed on the edge of some decision.

“You stayed behind so I could get out. That’s respectable,” he said.

“You did all the work,” Locke answered. “I just failed to talk my way out of the situation.”

Aexod chuckled and then departed.

Locke was thankful the other man had not attempted to take advantage of his injuries.

He reached out with the Force. He knew Teu was near, but would not be arriving for another hour or so. Locke would probably black out by then. He raised his comlink one more time. A familiar voice answered his query.

“Yes?”

“Celevon,” Locke said through gritted teeth. “Mission complete.”

“Good,” the Commissioner replied.

“Tell the Dark Council,” Locke breathed deeply. “Tell them I don’t do infiltration.”

“You tell them,” Celeveon replied. Then he cut the connection.

Locke laid his head back and wheezed out a laugh. He would have to be careful next time. He had also learned a great deal about one of the clan’s new members, and hopefully instilled trust in the other man. There was one very important lesson he had learned from this, though:

Infiltration was not his forte.

Contract Finished

RowenaMagnuri

As this is the first completed cooperative contract since the launch of the new forums, the grading will be clarified by post. Both participants are to be graded separately. With that said, we’re jumping straight into the grading.

Locke Sonjie - Post I

Although he was human and humans were common in the Orian System, his combination of eye and hair color was somewhat rare.

Human should be capitalized in the Star Wars universe.

A short time later a cloaked figure entered the alleyway.

There should be a comma after ‘later’.

“So, you have come, Aexod” he said.

Lacking punctuation to indicate if this is a question or a statement.

Aexod - Post II

“I open my own doorways. Always have, always will. So, unless ordered to assist you, I’d rather get back to my ale.” Aexod said, trying his best to act cool. It’s not every day you get a job proposal from the Consul.

I’m not docking points for this, but more a note of style mechanics. In the way you make the dialogue flow into narrative, the flow would be better if the dialogue was ended with a comma rather than a period. I notice that you actually follow my suggestion just a few lines down. In matters of continuity in your own posts/stories, I’d suggest making sure you keep things uniform in future.

“Just shut up and keep going, the quicker we exit this place, the better.” Locke replied, with a disgusted look on his face.

Unnecessary comma after replied.

“This way,” Locke whispered, holding his datapad in hand, and started running down the tunnel.

This reads in a choppy manner. It could have been phrased better for a better flow.

Locke - Post III

He had no idea how it all worked, but fortunately, there was also a ventilation shaft nearby.

Fortunately, this area appeared to be completely automated and there were no people.

Try to not repeat the same word twice, from one sentence to the next. It tends to interrupt the flow of the story. Not taking points off for this, since it’s a style mechanic issue.

He wrapped it around the vent cover and it’s latch, gently removing it from the vent with almost no noise before setting it to the side.

No apostrophe on ‘its’.

“Whose there?” He left the room, off to the right, the opposite direction they needed to go.

This indicates the question as saying: Who is there? Therefore, wrong form. It should be Who’s.

Aexod - Post IV

He then vanished from sight, entering the corridor only to see the officer that he had distracted making his way back to the office they were in.

In the words of Wally: “Show, don’t tell.”

I know your character is using Force Cloak. However, you should write it that way to avoid confusion. The way this is written is a bit confusing before you realize he’s actually using a Force power.

Still hidden from sight, he took out one of his throwing stars and snuck up behind the human.

Human should be capitalized in the Star Wars Universe.

As the man stepped back into the cubicle, Aexod thrust the throwing star directly into the man’s neck, severing his spinal cord and watching the lifeless body fall toward the floor.

I don’t see this as being realistic in the least. It would take a blade wider than a throwing star to sever the spinal column. Not to mention the fact that your character could possibly stab himself in the process.

“Hey, you wanna get caught? Besides, we got you a nice uniform so you can walk around unnoticed.”

The manner of death would have caused a lot of blood to be shed, especially on the back of the shirt. Which I can guarantee you would be noticed. Not docking points for this, just giving you a heads up, should you take on a contract in the future.

“Sure thing, boss,” Aexod replied, watching Locke move into the hall wearing his new beige outfit. The Augur made his way to the end of the hall, making a left turn, and disappearing from Aexod’s sight. A few seconds later, he was walking back this way accompanied by two guards.
“…can’t believe those idiots are causing trouble again. Thanks for the heads up, we’ll get right to it,” one of the guards said as they passed the room Aexod was in.

Try to vary your pronoun usage. You repeat your character’s name three times in a row. Examples of what you could use would be: Shadow, Sadowian, Acolyte or Zabrak.

Aexod ignited his lightsaber, removing the surveillance camera from its position and slicing it in half midair.

This could be altered for better flow. For example:

Aexod ignited his lightsaber, removing the surveillance camera from its position by slicing it through the device in a deft move.

Overall, this story is sound and flows nicely from post to post. There was almost no distraction as I read through, despite taking note of the occasional error. I most definitely loved how you kept the difficulty in mind and ended the mission - Most people have the tendency to write their character as escaping without a scratch. Very well done, you two. :slight_smile:

Locke Sonjie

Grade: Superior (+4)
Point Modifier: A-Class = x1.25

Overall Score: 5

Aexod Burgoo

Grade: Excellent (+3)
Point Modifier: A-Class = x1.25

Overall Score: 3.75