Canon, what is included in canon according to the brotherhood?

Greetings, I have a rather odd question, and personal preference. The star wars expanded universe directly conflicts with well Everything disney has put out. I personally cant even take someone seriously as a star wars fan if they even look at Kylo Ren and think its canon. Ben Skywalker was Luke and Mara’s son, not Leia and Hans. Leia and Han had Jacen and Jaina followed by Anakin.
Han isn’t killed by Ben etc…

Its those sorts of things that peeve me to no end. As I am most assuredly a fanboy of the expanded universe of Zahn and Stackpole. What i want to know is what the DJB policy is on it. Is it canon? And by that note, is Episode 1-3 as well? I want clarification as it is confusing trying to write with some alternate disney inspired fail as new Canon. I mean lets be honest, Disney is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since George Lucas made Episodes 1-3. Only good thing to come of disney’s involvement was their crew accidentally making Baby Yoda, which I wont lie is about the cutest thing to ever grace the universe. Just had to say that.

Salutations. The easiest way to answer your question on what the DJB considers canon. That would be what Disney considers canon, that would be: The Clone Wars T.V series (2008), Episodes 1-9, Any Star wars books or comics published post 2014 that do not carry a Legends banner, The video game Fallen Order, and any T.V show made after 2104. I hope this helps.
As a side note. I am also a EU fan as well (Although, I do enjoy the prequels. But I do understand where you are coming from) so I do understand your frustration as to what has happened. The best way I found that seems to help is to have a respectful agree to disagree mindset. While I don’t have much interest in the new lore. I do try to respect the feelings of those who enjoy the new lore. And I do agree. Baby Yoda is adorable.

There is a certain, very small amount of deviance from Disney-era canon. One big example are the “helicopter sabers” of Rebels. In our system you cannot use a spinning lightsaber to fly. There are a few other examples where we differ from Disney canon, but it is certainly a decent rule of thumb.

Not that it has stopped folks from using some elements of old canon. That sort of thing seems to be much more on a case by case basis- ie ships available in Possessions or a Clan or other unit based on stories from the pre-Disney canon.

You can always feel free to ask on particular points and folks will be willing to give you some additional guidance!

Edit: I have some strong preferences toward the EU canon, and will let you know up front you will find strong opinions on either side when it comes to canon. Hope that won’t put you off too badly!