Fort Blindshot
Selen, Dajorra System
Blindshot’s hospital was packed.
The fort had little seen such a need for so much emergency medical attention, but it wasn’t often something so bloody occurred; even the riots and previous attacks on Selen, the plague that year, had been something more dealt with by Estle’s hospitals.
But Blindshot was closest, and Blindshot treated their soldiers, and there were many wounded soldiers now.
The Dajorra Defense Force emblem was everywhere on torn and bloodied uniforms of savaged kill teams, rescue teams, the like that had been on the ground. The first to arrive had been those already present on the island when the incident began, the first wave of casualties found and recovered by the military. Then came more and more as the night wore on, all traumatic: rips, tears, burst cavities. Earlier, it was probably chaotic, but now it was quiet, save for the sounds of machines, pained moans, and the routines of the nurses, doctors, and staff. Some scattered few in the waiting area — what could be considered such — made for grim or haunted faces.
In the corner in a trio of plastic chairs pushed arm to arm, a pastel-colored family slept in the disarray of the worry-stricken and helpless: sharp angles, bent necks, stiff spines curled up too tight into unforgiving seats, huddled up and dangling over rail armrests, trying to touch one another without falling over. Two Mirialan children, sleeping fitfully; the one in the middle a Pantoran man, his chin bobbing heavily down and then back up, eyes closed, caught somewhere between exhaustion and fighting for consciousness. All three were wrapped up in oversized hoodies, the children like blankets, the man with it sagging off his shoulders but bunched up to stay.
Qyreia was already there for her own hurts; plentiful in themselves, but far less severe than that of many of those around her. By and large, her hands were already healed, with only fading dark marks evidence of the cuts and shrapnel that had once occupied the red skin. Her clothes were still less than fresh, crusted white in some places with sweat salt, spotted and smeared with blood and other fluids from within the temple that she didn’t want to think about too much. She didn’t want to think about much of any of it too much.
She was just really, very tired. Once she got back, there was a brief nap in the waiting room, and another one while she was given proper treatment that the nurse didn’t appreciate. Keira was fortunately there to help. She was unscathed at least; physically anyway. The Force user grabbed them some caf and some allegedly stolen bagels from the break room. With the fight over though, and the Zeltron on the mend, she sent Keira home to drop off their things and rest. Still in mercenary mode, Qyreia opted to stay and help, even if it was just with little things. She couldn’t treat anyone for kark, but she knew how to send people to the right places.
That was how she happened upon the kids, Cora’s head-bobbing looking extra precious. She didn’t really want to think about how she’d left Ruka in the woods. Left everyone out there. At least you came back, she thought, remembering the midnight fighting. She girded herself for any sort of rebuke from the Pantoran, swallowing down the knot in her throat as she stroked his pink hair to gently collect his attention and not startle him.
“Hey. Cora? It’s Qyreia.”
Corazon startled drunkenly upright, spasming in the way of someone high strung by stress but sluggish, completely exhausted. He made a sound of distress that choked off, rasping, “Angel— oh. Oh, Miss—” a cough, “ah, Qy-Qyreira. Dear. Hello.”
Up close, he looked like he’d had some kind of allergic reaction: his golden eyes played at orange for how red the whites were, puffy from crying, shadowed by tiredness; his cheeks and lips were somewhat swollen, blotchy from gnawing worry; his hair a mess of finger-combed stress. Under the hoodie, he still wore the clothes he had at the pool earlier in the day… yesterday… whenever it had been. He sniffed and sat up further, gently disentangling one arm from under Noga’s hand as his gaze went to each child, concerned and tender. Then that gaze turned back to her as he stood up, shaky, and murmured in a whisper.
“E-excuse me, dear, yes, hello, ah. How are you? L-let’s—” he gestured to the wall a few feet away, indicating space to talk without waking the Mirialans.
She nodded in the same direction affirmatively, helping him up as best she could and as much as he would let her. “Do you need any food or caf or something?”
“N-no,” he coughed again, then added, “perhaps some tea, but…I do not feel much like eating. I know I should. I just. C-can’t.” He rubbed a hand over his face gingerly, as if habitually trying not to smudge makeup that was already far beyond wrecked, streaked on his face. His other hand stayed in the hoodie pocket. “I— ah. Can I do anything for you? I know you were hurt, I- I could heal a bit, perhaps.” His shaky, friendly smile didn’t make it all the way up, crumbling back down. “W-well. Perhaps not. Awfully exhausted my reserves I’m afraid. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you all. I needed to stay and guard the children.”
The Zeltron’s posture and expression sagged, smiling weakly. “Do you want a hug?”
“I—” his voice cracked. His eyes were welling with tears again. “I’d love one, but I-I think if I d-do, I won’t be able to hold it t-together,” the Pantoran whimpered. He bowed his head briefly, then looked back up. “What— what happened out there, Qyreia? Ruka won’t— he— h-h-he wouldn’t even t-talk to me when he w-woke up, he barely looked at me, he—”
Corazon did not, in fact, keep it together. He gave a quiet sob and drew his hand out from his pocket, uncurling clenched fingers. In his palm sat a gold ring identical to the one on his finger, but larger.
“H-h-he g-gave it back.”
Qyreia’s teeth grit, and she swallowed down yet another knot, welling up from her gut. Fast, careful, she wrapped his fingers tightly around the ring with one hand and pulled him close with her other arm.
“It’s okay Cora,” she said as soothingly as she could. “He still loves you. He’s worried. Bad. Shhh, it’s okay.”
She stroked his hair, guiltily jealous that he got the same thing from Ruka too. Goddamn girl, this isn’t the time to be thirsty. Sighing, she curled over and around him, like the embrace was some sort of protective shield.
“Some weird kark happened out there. I don’t know what exactly, but it involved the… those things. They laid eggs, and Ruka and the others wouldn’t stop talking about babies. And I think he’s worried he’ll hurt you because of whatever happened in his head.”
Corazon clung to the woman and buried his hiccuping sobs into her chest, clutching the ring to his own and just crumpling into her. If she had to guess, he’d probably been putting on the best face he could for Leda and Noga.
“H-he-he’s already scared of that,” burbled the Jedi, struggling to breathe. “A-a-and I al-ways t-rry to tell him better, he’d never— but—”
Words got a little too hard to manage, and the Pantoran just cried, the pair swaying together on their tired feet.
Oh you sweet little marshmallow, she thought as they rocked, giving him the occasional soothing “shhh”, petting his hair and thinking of everything and anything that calmed her or made her happy. It was rare that she did this sort of thing; and a long long time since she’d tried so hard to do it. But at least now she didn’t have to worry about turning on or shutting off the Zeltron-stuff, much less in a hurry. It was just her trying to give him a little boost; just enough that he could breathe again rather than drown in the sorrow. It hurt her too, after all: his anxiety melding with her own in a misery cocktail that made it hard to not break down.
“I know it hurts,” she whispered quietly against his ear. “It’s okay. We’ll fix this.”
Cora took a few snotty, gasping breaths. It took a bit, with her rocking him and their mixing emotions, but his crying slowed and he wound an arm around her to hug back, pulling away just enough to wipe his face on his — Ruka’s — sleeve. He took a deep breath, then another, and seemed to gather himself the way only a born noble could.
“Oh goodness, Ashla, I’m sorry. I’m an utter travesty. And here I am burdening you when you’ve been hurt and just as stressed, I can tell…”
“Corazon Ya’ir,” she said almost sternly, “don’t apologize. I’m fine. Healing and tired, but fine.” A bit hungry too, she thought, but decided to keep that to herself. Honestly, she sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a normal metabolism. “How is Ruka, though? Obviously not all good in the head, but how are his injuries?”
The Pantoran gave a little huff at the rebuke, but brushed back his hair as if it would do anything to put it to order at this point.
“Then you ought to be resting, but thank you for your kindness to me. And to Ruka. He’s— it was bad.” Golden eyes looked haunted. “As bad as our first war. The stomach wound— it ran right over the same area. I never thought I would have to see my husband’s intestines sewn back in more than once in our lives. Ashla.” He shook his head, and sighed. “But they say he will recover. He’s out of danger, now. But there’s more to come, and they’re concerned about his heart. The Force is a magnificent thing, but at times, rushing an injury like that can be as bad as the damage itself. But they said he should be alright with bacta and care and effort. He was awake earlier. He might be now. I just— he gave his ring back and said to take the children and I didn’t know what to do with that so…”
“Goddammit, Ruka,” she whispered aloud, nearly lost in her own thoughts as she absorbed what the Pantoran said. “I don’t suppose… Could I talk to him maybe?”
“Of course. You don’t need to ask. You’re his friend, and our family, and if he’ll see you…” Corazon swallowed thickly, flinching. Fluttered his hands a bit, glanced back at the kids, rubbed his eyes. “I— I— just, if he’ll see you, tell him we love him?”
“I’m hoping I can get you in there to say it face to face,” she sighed. “But thanks. For all that.” Another sigh as she looked around at the doors, looking at the one nearest the family’s seats. “That one there?”
“Yes,” Cora sniffed. “Perhaps— we can get something to eat and drink. When you’re done. The children would like your company as much as I would, I’m sure. Oh, but do just head home and get some actual sleep if not? You deserve— so much. Thank you for bringing him back.” He looked like he was going to tear up again. “Pardon me, I swear I’ll get a hold of myself.”
She patted his shoulder gently. “You get some rest while you wait, huh? Everything’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
She let Cora do as he liked, pacing or returning to his seat — she just made herself available. If nothing else, she tried to be a good friend to those that cared enough. And Cora cared just like Ruka did. Steeling herself again, on top of the already corroded layers, she gently knocked as she went into the indicated room containing the big Mirialan.
“Hey. Ruka? S’Q. Heard you were in here and thought I’d check in. You decent?”
The sight that greeted her was the Sith looking pale and washed out under the light from a vitals monitor, his skin patterned with bruises and cuts now stitched and cleaned instead of blood-splattered and dirty. His loose hair was stripped of the burnt ends, and the edge of a thick layer of sterile bandaging and tape peeked out from the edges of his gown at the arms and chest; presumably the most was over his stomach. He was stuck with wires and IVs, and had a very clear tag hanging off the end of his bed that warned against mobility.
It seemed like the Mirialan had been thinking — brooding — or maybe dozing, but his eyes opened as soon as the door did, and when they landed on her, the first thing out of his mouth was an obvious curse.
“Malketi baaseo,” he said, and then winced, and let his head flop back again. His tone went from riled to flat. “He sent you as the calvary, huh?”
“Good to see you too, schutta,” she half-chuckled, somewhat annoyed, as she stood by the bed. “Don’t suppose I could ask to sit before you kick me out?”
“There’s a planet of places to sit that aren’t here,” he muttered, still flat. Ruka kept his eyes away from her, dropped to the side, staring hard with his brows furrowed before adding more softly, “I’m glad you’re okay, though.”
“Yeah,” she said, softer now. “You too.”
She stayed standing, taking a bit of a hint. If anything, it might guilt trip him into letting her sit if she just stood there. Then he might listen. Maybe.
“So uh… What happened? Other than the injuries. Just…” She sighed, thoughtful; exasperated. “I guess I’m still trying to figure out what was happening with everyone going zombie out there.”
His breath caught sharply, and his gaze skittered her way again. One of his hands, with a needle stuck in it, clenched in the sheet. The other, his left, where he had been thumbing his bare ring finger, dug in too.
“What happened,” and there went that flat tone, broken into something sharp and stinging and bitter, “is I hurt Zujenia, I tried to hurt you, I hurt—” He cut off. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Oh frack off, gimp! Enough of that! You know, if it weren’t for all those holes in you, I’da knocked your choobs into next week for all that talk?!”
Frack composure.
“Now start explaining, Ruka. What. happened? Because I got the kark outta there when me an’ Keira started feelin’ funny.”
Ruka glared at her, snapping back, “Oh yeah, threaten to kick me in the kriffing sack AGAIN, as if it actually means anything. You couldn’t even pull the trigger when I begged you to.” The machines beeped sharply to the sudden increase in heart rate.
The mercenary’s eyes narrowed, and there was a flash of genuine anger radiating off her before, in a swift motion, she rapped his crotch with a pair of jutted knuckles. The immediate effect was jarring for the Mirialan, to say the least. Qyreia merely stood back, crossing her arms, staring sternly at Ruka.
“That was a warning shot. Next one will remind you of what your voice was like before puberty.”
“Kriff…you…” hissed the man, unable to even curl over to cup the area defensively thanks to his abdominal wound. He took a solid breath before spitting through his teeth, eyes shining wet and glaring, “What do you want me to say? That I thought— that I saw those, those things,” the word curled with absolute disgust, “were mine? Mine? Like— like they were Noga and Leda? That I thought about all the ways I would kill you if I had to to keep them safe? I pictured snapping your kriffing neck. No, actually, I pictured snapping your wrist just in case you had a gun and snapping Kiera’s neck, because she was really ready to cut me in half, and THEN dealing with you. That I thought about bringing my actual goddamn kids and husband to that kriffing hellhole to be eaten alive?! For those THINGS?!”
The machines blared angrily with some alarm or another. His chest was rising and falling so fast.
“I tried to kill Zujenia, Qyreia. I didn’t mean not to. It was sheer franging luck that I only broke her arm and not her spine. Am I supposed to excuse that just because it was like they crawled into my kriffing head and flipped my brain around?! Is that an excuse? No! There’s no goddamn excuse! A-and it— it— I-I t-tried so hard to stop and she didn’t help me, you didn’t help me, no one helped me.” He clutched at his abdomen. “Why wouldn’t you help me, I just— I needed— I n-needed it to s-top before I did anything else.”
Qyreia’s eyes welled. Oddly enough, not out of pity for him. No. Rather, it was what he said. How it reminded her of certain things that she’d tried so many times to forget; still wanted to forget. She was angry, but she felt for him at the same time. Less his desire to be rid of himself, and more the feeling of helplessness from not having that control.
“And you’re here now. No one…” Her voice shuddered, paused. “You’re okay. Need some healing out the ass and then some, but you’re okay.”
She wanted to sit and have a nice friendly chat with him. Wanted to kiss his forehead and… well, maybe not play with his hair. Dreds were still weird like that for her. You’re such a dumbass.
“And to your point: no, I didn’t shoot you. I knew you weren’t in your right mind. And frankly I wasn’t worried about you hurting me or Keira. I knew you wanted to: it was plain on your face. But you’re my friend, and sometimes that means taking the harder road for the better outcome.” She tried to smile, pressing some of the tears out from under her eyelids. “I’d say you being here is pretty good.”
Ruka made a wounded noise at her words and the tears, his own falling. “Goddammit, Qyreia, it’s not. I-it’s not, I don’t deserve— I—” he shuddered, made a high whine of pain, tried to curl in on himself and failed miserably. “Just. Just. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Oh shut up,” she laughed with a hiccuped sob. “Everyone and their sorries today, I swear.” She still stepped closer and, gingerly, cupped his head in her arms. “I really am glad you’re okay though.”
The Mirialan choked on a sob he evidently couldn’t get a deep enough breath for without pain and sagged into her touch. The hand with his IV came up to grip hers gingerly, mindful that the last time he’d seen them, they were bloody.
“I don’t know if I am,” he confessed, all messy and lost. “I’ve never— this wasn’t like the Ocejar, that was me crossing the line, but this— I’ve— I’ve n-never felt so— out of control of myself.” He took another breath, and his other hand joined her other, knitting. “You’re really okay?”
“Dude,” she said almost derisively, holding out a hand with only the darker red marks remaining of her injuries. “I’m fine.” She squeezed him again. “But… for you, I kinda know what that’s like. Being there but not quite in control, mentally speaking. Like being compelled to something, and because it’s your brain telling you, it seems almost natural if you let it.”
He paused a moment, then murmured, “Your pheromones thing?”
Her smile waned, thoughtful and reminiscent, like she was remembering something painfully sour.
“Not quite. I don’t like to talk about it. Maybe when you get out of here, I can tell you. And you’ll probably think it’s dumb or something.”
She hazarded a kiss on his forehead. He smelled bad. Not like BO or blood. More like sick: sterile, rubber adhesives, sticky, and just a little bit of piss. But under it there was still Ruka.
“Listen. Much as I love having you to myself, there’s some other folks that I think want to see you. And hug you. In fact, Cora might kill me if I got the first hugs and kisses in."
Ruka had made a short sound of agreement about that maybe. “You don’t ever have to, you know,” he murmured, and almost smiled at the kiss before his expression twisted again. “Oh, Bogan, Cora. I—” His eyes clenched shut as he pulled back from her as much as two inches of space back into his pillows would allow. “I kriffed up, beautiful girl. I— I’m— I don’t think they should be near me now, but— I hurt him and it was just me.”
“Hey. Dumbass.” She swatted his forehead playfully, grateful for the distraction from her more morose train of thought. “He wants to see you. Noga and Leda too, if the way they’re sleeping in chairs in the hall is any indicator.”
Ruka’s face did a good job of looking like his heart breaking, throat closing up in emotion some more. He coughed, wiped at his face, tried to find some levity to give back to her.
“'course they are, gods and Ancestors, kriff. I wanted them to go home but I shoulda known better. Stubborn is a family trait huh? Probably why you fit in ours too.”
She looked at him skeptically. “I know exactly why you ‘told them to go home’.” She leaned over him, cupping a cheek in each hand and looking at him dead in the eyes. “What aren’t you telling me, Ru?”
The Mirialan’s eyes skittered away, and he quickly whispered, “Nothing. We’ve just had the terrible shit I did to everyone confessional.”
“But you’re still scared?”
“Of course I am,” he snapped, then winced, muttered an apology. “If I can lose control like that, I can do it again. What if this isn’t over? Have we kriffing bombarded that place from orbit? What if something else happens? Anywhere. I’m— I’m a walking weapon, and I can be used against them. You. I shouldn’t be here.” The way he said here sounded like anywhere. His hand went to his bandaged stomach, and his eyes wheeled. “I— I don’t want to, I don’t think I could try again, but— but…”
She couldn’t handle his crap anymore. She wanted to shut him up. To make him believe he was okay. At the very least, maybe distract him.
That was why she kissed him.
It was stupid. It was so karking stupid to do. It would be a miracle if he didn’t bust a stitch, or several dozen. And frack if karma didn’t somehow choose then to have Cora walk in just to check on them. But she did it, and Cora didn’t walk in. Not even particularly pleasant, between his frailty, his franticness, his smell, his taste. It was just generally an awful circumstance. But it shut him up just long enough for him to focus and for the Zeltron to gather her thoughts, tender though she was.
“Ruka…” she said hesitantly, pausing his lips with a finger before he could rail on her. “What if is a crap excuse for not seeing what is. They all love you. They’ll help you. So stop being a dumb schutta, and do as your told.” She smiled, weakly. “Go be a dad and a husband, huh? You’re good at that stuff.”
Ruka seemed a little too shocked — or maybe stunned was a better word, since the information behind the gesture wasn’t new even if the action was — to really muster more than a few flailing syllables against her fingertip. They stumbled between Mirialan and Basic like he was searching either language for a reaction. His pale, wrecked face tinged muddy pink.
“Yeah. Okay,” was his final landing, if by landing one meant falling on their face. “I. Can do that? Right.” He blinked a few times, wiped at his mouth, gestured at her. “You just—. You. Me. I’m gonna have to tell Cor.” His face got redder. “Um.”
“I’ll explain it to him.” A long sigh passed her lips. Her red, tired lips that still tasted a little bit like a sickbed. “But… I think it’ll do you more good to have them around than wallowing in your little bubble. It’s gonna suck. But if you need to get away, you know who to call, right?”
He nodded, still splotchy pink. “Yeah. I. Okay, okay. I— thank you.” Ruka cleared his throat, took her hand and squeezed it as hard as he could manage. “Thank you, kneginceza. You can stay too if you want but you don’t gotta. Beautiful or not, you look like you need to fall over. Better to do it in your own bed where it don’t smell like death.”
A flutter passed over when he said that. She licked her lips, pulling a stray swatch of hair out of her eyes; almost like a conscious gesture. “Nah… I don’t think Cora would appreciate it. I’ll be lucky if I leave the hospital alive,” she chuckled weakly. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He smiled slightly, the first one that stuck. “And he won’t hurt you. Probably.”
“It’s that probably that worries me,” she said, melding in a stronger laugh this time as she stood. She grabbed the water cup off his nightstand and stuck it closer within easy reach. “Drink some of that too, before Cor tries anything. Your breath is rank.”
She quickly made her way out as Ruka quietly cursed her, laughing weakly against the pain in his abdomen. Outside was Cora, standing by anxiously as she shut the door. Noga and Leda were still sleeping, if only tentatively. A quick breath to settle her nerves before she approached the Pantoran.
“Hey, Cor?” she said almost meekly as she stepped over to him. “He’s awake. And I managed to talk some sense into him, too. He wants to see you.”
The Pantoran all but sagged in relief, immediately tearing up again and throwing his arms around her tightly.
“Oh, Ashla, thank you, Qyreia,” he murmured fervently in those posh tones of his. The exclamation had the two Mirialan children stirring, blearily, glazed eyes blinking about at each other, the adults, and their surroundings.
“Shshsh,” she hissed, quickly guiding him away from the kids, back to the spot where they’d conspired before. “Before you go thanking me… Huuugh damn. So, can you promise not to kill, maim, or otherwise harm me?”
Golden eyes blinked at her, pastel pink brows bunching in cute confusion as he was shushed and rushed aside as if for the most scandalous of court gossip.
“Why ever would I do that, dear?”
“Euughh… Okay. So…” She winced, as if waiting to be smacked, slapped, or perhaps even eviscerated. “I had to get… creative to get him to focus. Away from his angsty Sithspit. And I mighta… kissed him.”
Corazon pulled back slightly. Blinked some more. His confused expression smoothed out into one of perfect serenity and grace, revealing absolutely nothing as he cleared his throat and lifted his chin.
“I…see,” he commented, gaze flicking over her, to the room behind them, hand visibly flexing on the ring his husband had handed back to him. “Well. Desperate times and such like, is it not? I appreciate your prompt honesty with me. I know you mean nothing untoward in the gesture, Qyreia, so please do not feel at all like you’ve done something wrong.” The Pantoran smiled at her, genuinely bright, some of his intensely pristine posture relaxing as he took her hand and bowed a kiss over her knuckles. “I know you care for him too. And if it has worked where I failed, well…so be it!”
A pause, then he released her, smile still present. She could feel his gratitude and affection were genuine, if undercut by the same hurt he’d been weighed by earlier. He gave a little laugh.
“I must admit, had he not just tried to break up with me hours ago, I may be more readily agreeing with you that he is very kissable even in his worst states. I would appreciate if it didn’t happen again, though.”
“Yeah, no.” She waved dismissively. “No. Was just the shock factor, honest. I railed on his sack too, if it’s any consolation; not in a nice way.” Yeah. Desperate times. “He wasn’t happy about that one.”
Cora flinched slightly, eye twitching. “I know you are trying to console me, but you are telling me that you only kissed my husband, whom you’ve admitted to wanting, to, ahem, be intimate with, for the shock factor, and also that you abused his genitalia, which I am, pardon me saying, fond of?” He broke out in a sudden giggle that was probably hysterical.
She aspirated a little, trying to hold back a chuckle. “Well hell, when you put it that way…!”
The Pantoran took another look at her and dissolved into full-blown laughter, crying again with it. He looped one arm around her and another around his stomach, wheezing.
Qyreia’s laughter subsided quickly, but she let the Pantoran enjoy as much as he liked. It had probably been a minute since he’d managed to genuinely smile or laugh. He probably needed it.
“I should get going,” she finally said when Cora’s own mirth settled out, the kids very definitely stirring behind him.
“Yes, yes, get some rest, please,” Cora hiccuped, wobbly, but settling. He took her hands again, squeezed. “Be safe. And come see us soon. We owe you a dinner at the very least, and all our gratitude.”
“Naah,” she dismissed again as she stepped back. “I just threw a bandage on him. That’s all.”
She shot Cora a parting wave, half walking and half stumbling back before righting herself. Another wave, and another at the kids who seemed to slowly recognize her. And then gone, disappearing among the other DDF uniforms and moving bodies in the hall. Corazon turned back to the children with a smile fixed on his face. They were getting unfortunately adept at reading his smiles. But this one was genuine, if tinged by… everything else. They didn’t hide those things from each other.
Not that he had told them exactly what Ruka had said to him.
“Princess is leaving?” Leda asked. For once Noga wasn’t straining to look after the Zeltron any time she walked away, instead just looking at the door to Ruka’s room and glaring around him in turns.
“She needs rest too. We all do.”
“She’s okay?” Noga asked the floor.
“Yes, sweetheart. I’m going to go talk to Papi again, do you want to get some snacks?”
Leda shook her head, a true testament to her worry. They both stopped eating when they were upset; it seemed to be a habit they’d absorbed from Ruka. After all, he had been not eating far more often, and not over upsets.
“Yes,” Noga said, and tugged Leda up — his way of taking care of his little sister. Cora kissed them both and hugged them, handing over a few credits.
He watched them trot off, knowing they’d be fine on their own in a base after growing up on the street. They’d had more steel in them when he met them at seven and eight than he had for most of his life.
Sighing, the Pantoran wiped at his face again, patted at his hair, straightened his shirt under the hoodie. He paused to hug it to him, trying to swallow any more tears, inhaling his smell past the hospital ones.
“Please don’t do this to me again,” he’d begged earlier, when they’d brought Ruka in, when his insides had still been outside from trying to protect people, when he’d had to see him put back together and know again the feeling of losing him. Crying, screaming, asking if he’d survive. Waiting and waiting but this time the kids were here to cry and scream the same things.
And then his face when he woke up, the self loathing, the fear. The tears. The way he’d taken off his ring and shoved it into Cora’s hands.
Corazon breathed in, and then opened the door.
Ruka had evidently been watching the door, waiting, and his eyes widened then. The lock clicked shut. They stared at one another. Cora clutched their rings.
The Pantoran crossed the space in three strides and kissed him. Ruka whined and kissed right back. Their faces were wet. Their hands shook, and Ruka’s had tape and needles and bruises and no metal band. Cora scrabbled to fix that, scrabbled between their sobbing kisses and clacking teeth and days-old breath, shoving blindly one-handed at his husband’s fingers while Ruka tried to assist. They fumbled to it eventually, and Cora leaned too close and Ruka yelped, but then they adjusted and pressed their foreheads together and just breathed sour and needing and still alive and sorry.
“Damn you,” Cora gasped, swatting at his hands, nudging their faces together. “You are not leaving me, not in any way, you promised me, you promised, not again, we aren’t going through this again, Ruka!”
“I know, I know,” the Mirialan choked out, rasping, voice and accent thick. “I’m sorry, my heart, I’m sorry, I know I promised, I’m sorry.”
“Not again.”
“I know.”
“Angel.”
“I’m—”
“You’re here. We’re here. And we’re not going anywhere, do you understand? You’re not going to hurt us except by leaving us.”
“I’m sorry,” Ruka cried, and buried his face into Cora’s chest, and Cora held on to him, and he did not let go. Not even when the children nosed in the door and joined them, carefully climbing up on either side of the bed and clinging. Noga swore a lot. Leda was all tears and hiccups and snot like she always was wont to. Anything else could wait for later, including the details, the thing with Qyreia, whatever it was Ruka wasn’t telling him that he could feel between them. There was just them all still here, together, refusing to fall apart.