A read-only archive of discourse.darkjedibrotherhood.com as of Sunday May 01, 2022.

[Code: Dread] Epic Rap Battles of the DJB: Khryso Mallus vs. Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj


Khryso Mallus: Team Fancy Hat
Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj: Team Half-Cyborg


  1. 2 posts minimum per rapper.
  2. 8-32 lines per post (rap verses), with an alternating rhyme scheme (inner rhyming in lines can also be added).
  3. The rap must target the “weaknesses” of the opposing rapper, as well as elevate the “strengths” of the posting rapper.
  4. Rapping must be PG-13 appropriate and Star Wars-appropriate. Hitting below the belt may happen, but don’t hit too hard.

Posts MAY NOT be edited after the next person posts. This way, lines cannot be added or removed to throw off the other person’s writing. Editing posts after your partner posts will result in disqualification.

Grading will be based on originality of the “disses,” accuracy to the characters, creativity of the rhyme scheme, and humor. Bonus points will be added if your partner and you provide a royalty-free beat that you followed in your writing for the judges to listen to.








A duel like this may force me to be crass,
but it looks like I’m gonna have to take you to the high-class.
Old vs new, a battle for the ages,
I’m sorry if this L causes any rages.

Don’t worry 'bout a thing, I know this ain’t your scene,
I’ll do the rapping, you just answer to your queen.
Before I let you go, one more thing you should know,
I may not have a family but I’ve still got a flow.

When I show up, I don’t have to bring my A-game,
Right and left, everybody’s learnin’ my name.
Risin’ star of Plagueis, that’s what I’ve been told,
It’s hard to forget the man with all the gold.

Just a little bit more, then I’ll give you your shot,
I’m sorry but this battle won’t be hard-fought.
You can seek victory all day if you like,
but it won’t help you defend from my strike.


You call me old, I’d say I’m wise
Me beating you will be no surprise
You act like you’re so frakkin’ smart
I’ve got dealing with your kind down to an art

I would advise that you don’t test me, boy
Even my twins know that lightsabers ain’t a toy
Come too close, I’ll beat you down
If you’re as smart as you say you’ll get out of town

This rapping game, it’s not my thing
But I’d still prefer if I don’t have to sing
I use the Force, not these rhymes
To commit things that most would say are crimes

So tell me, my new Chiss friend
Why exactly did you think I’d bend?
I’m not about to frakkin’ fold
Just because you think I’m old


Me bein’ smart ain’t just some front,
Gettin’ my degrees was no small stunt.
Testin’ you wasn’t part of my plan,
The resulting low score might get you kicked out of the clan.

Beat me down? That’s quite a threat,
But I’ll go easy on you, no need to fret.
I’ll even let you use the Force as a crutch,
Although even midichlorians won’t help you that much.

You do bring up one good point I will address,
bending would be hard for you in excess.
I don’t want to be the cause of your heart attack,
so maybe make sure to skip your next snack.

I get that you’re jealous, I would be too,
Thankfully, though, I’m me, not you.
Maybe after this you’ll get a shiny little badge,
It might even say your name: blah blah blah Inahj.


Don’t give me a reason to end your life,
I’ll admit I’m unstable since I lost my wife
Keep pushing me and you’ll taste my lightning
And men twice your size find that just frightening

You think I’m old, I’m short, I’m fat
But I’ll quickly allay your thoughts of that
If lightsabers come out, it’ll be you that’s over
I’ll burn you more than a supernova

So trifle with me at your own risk
Any violent encounter will be quite brisk
I think you should cut your losses
I’d hate to report your death to your bosses

And now, I say, it’s time to stop
Before my rhymes make your ears pop
Let’s just sit down, and say our cheers
Over half a dozen Ebla beers.