[Garza Presents] Grant a Wish!

You are a Space Wizard and get to grant the wish of the post above you! But you are only an apprentice and make some mistakes. Post your wish in the Discord thread and let the hilarity begin!

This is how you play:

You read the wish in the post above you and reply with “Granted but…”. + your own wish.

Example:

  • Previous post: I wish I had 1 billion dollar!

Granted but you can only spend it on paperclips.

I wish I had a car.

Some basics rules: Each person cannot post back-to-back, but must wait for someone else to post before he can reply. Feel free to submit as many replies as you want.

The winner will be chosen according to creativity and hilarity, and no Clusters of Ice will be awarded for participation.

I’ll start off:

I wish that I had never-ending wishes

Wish Granted, But you can only wish for things that have the same first letter as your name.

I wish I had $1,000,000

Granted, but due to lack of clarity, you are granted $1,000,000 Guyanese dollars (worth approximately $4,828 USD).

I wish I had a functional X-Wing.

Wish Granted! But your understanding of the operation of the X-Wing is minimal, you crash within the first ten minutes.

I wish that I had a Soda.

Wish Granted! But colloquial definitions change per region and you are given Pop instead.

I wish that I had Sushi.

Wish Granted! but due to lack of context you are given the fully alive and not so happy “Nami” from ‘League of Legends’

I wish I wasn’t sick anymore.

Granted, but you have to give your sickness to 2,000,000 other people.

I wish I could fly!

Granted, but you will have to carry 340 passengers on your back and fly them from Chicago O’hare to Dublin three times a week.

I wish I had a big thermostat with which I controlled the weather!

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Wish Granted! But any changes to the weather you make, you cannot reverse, and for changing the weather too much you are dubbed a witch and burned at the stake in modern day america.

I wish i had a '69 GTO Judge.

Wish granted! But it breaks down every five miles.

I wish I had 20,000 RP (Riot Points) to spend on League of Legends (the game).

Granted! But you can only buy skins for characters you will never play.

I wish I a job that paid 1,000,000.00

Granted, but you are paid in 1,000,000 sheep that you can only trade for wood.
I wish I had 80 puppies.

granted but none of them like you.

I wish the Star Wars movies keep improving the story and the fun of the series.

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Granted, but every movie has Gungans and a 40 minute podracing sequence.

I wish I had an R2 unit.

Granted, but it comes with a bad motivator.

I wish I had a pet Gizka.

Wish Granted! But it constantly eats your electrical wiring for your computer, yum!

I wish I had unlimited Ice Cream!

Granted but now you can’t get around without a scooter.

I wish Pravus’s ship would crash.

Wish granted! But it crashes into your favorite restaurant.

I wish I had a teleportation device

Granted but it always brings you back to your desk to do paperwork.

I wish this fun wouldn’t stop.