A read-only archive of discourse.darkjedibrotherhood.com as of Sunday May 01, 2022.

[Garza Presents] Grant a Wish!

Ossk

You are a Space Wizard and get to grant the wish of the post above you! But you are only an apprentice and make some mistakes. Post your wish in the Discord thread and let the hilarity begin!

This is how you play:

You read the wish in the post above you and reply with “Granted but…”. + your own wish.

Example:

  • Previous post: I wish I had 1 billion dollar!

Granted but you can only spend it on paperclips.

I wish I had a car.

Some basics rules: Each person cannot post back-to-back, but must wait for someone else to post before he can reply. Feel free to submit as many replies as you want.

The winner will be chosen according to creativity and hilarity, and no Clusters of Ice will be awarded for participation.

Ossk

I’ll start off:

I wish that I had never-ending wishes

LivanaAgrona

Wish Granted, But you can only wish for things that have the same first letter as your name.

I wish I had $1,000,000

KenathZoron

Granted, but due to lack of clarity, you are granted $1,000,000 Guyanese dollars (worth approximately $4,828 USD).

I wish I had a functional X-Wing.

LivanaAgrona

Wish Granted! But your understanding of the operation of the X-Wing is minimal, you crash within the first ten minutes.

I wish that I had a Soda.

AuroraTavar

Wish Granted! But colloquial definitions change per region and you are given Pop instead.

I wish that I had Sushi.

LivanaAgrona

Wish Granted! but due to lack of context you are given the fully alive and not so happy “Nami” from ‘League of Legends’

I wish I wasn’t sick anymore.

Maximus

Granted, but you have to give your sickness to 2,000,000 other people.

I wish I could fly!

Korroth

Granted, but you will have to carry 340 passengers on your back and fly them from Chicago O’hare to Dublin three times a week.

I wish I had a big thermostat with which I controlled the weather!

LivanaAgrona

Wish Granted! But any changes to the weather you make, you cannot reverse, and for changing the weather too much you are dubbed a witch and burned at the stake in modern day america.

I wish i had a '69 GTO Judge.

Ziglizi

Wish granted! But it breaks down every five miles.

I wish I had 20,000 RP (Riot Points) to spend on League of Legends (the game).

EdgarDrachen

Granted! But you can only buy skins for characters you will never play.

I wish I a job that paid 1,000,000.00

AuroraTavar

Granted, but you are paid in 1,000,000 sheep that you can only trade for wood.
I wish I had 80 puppies.

EdgarDrachen

granted but none of them like you.

I wish the Star Wars movies keep improving the story and the fun of the series.

Alethia

Granted, but every movie has Gungans and a 40 minute podracing sequence.

I wish I had an R2 unit.

AloraKituri

Granted, but it comes with a bad motivator.

I wish I had a pet Gizka.

Junazee

Wish Granted! But it constantly eats your electrical wiring for your computer, yum!

I wish I had unlimited Ice Cream!

EdgarDrachen

Granted but now you can’t get around without a scooter.

I wish Pravus’s ship would crash.

Rajhin

Wish granted! But it crashes into your favorite restaurant.

I wish I had a teleportation device

EdgarDrachen

Granted but it always brings you back to your desk to do paperwork.

I wish this fun wouldn’t stop.

AuroraTavar

Granted, but you didn’t identify what “fun” was so you are sentenced to an eternity of Jedi lectures and aren’t allowed to harm anyone.

I wish Turel would finish painting the House.

Aaleeshah

Granted but it’s the color you hate most.
I wish I had unlimited supply of chocolate.

AidenDru

Granted, but it comes in the form of fondant.

I wish I had a new PC

EdgarDrachen

Granted but it’s a Mac and no new video game will run on it.

I wish Blade gets unlimited sushi :slight_smile:

AidenDru

Granted but it’s all gas station sushi.

I wish I had more shoes

EdgarDrachen

Grants but that are all 6 inch stiletto heels.

I wish COU would win the next 10 GJW’s!

DanielStephens

Wish granted, but you are killed by a rogue miner who collapses your home into his cave.

I wish we could train Juna to not bite random new people.

Aaleeshah

granted but she bites random old people instead.
I wish I could control time.

JasperArlow

Wish granted, but you can never change anything that has already happened in the past, no matter how hard you try.

I wish I could have a bottomless bag of Snack-its.

Junazee

Wish Granted! But, you can not reach the bottom of the bag.

I wish for 100 wishes!

AidenDru

Granted but they all have to be the previous wish you made

I wish for a boatload of pretty ladies

Aaleeshah

Granted but you can never be on the boat.
I wish I lived in an anime.

Korroth

Granted, but you discover that you already did!

I wish light side oatcakes tasted as good as dark side cookies.

Alethia

Granted, but they all give you mind-shredding diarrhea.

I wish Star Wars canon had better birds.

AuroraTavar

Granted, but all they do is purposely try to defecate on your head.

I wish that Alethia would finally kiss Mar, her boyfriend she never admits she likes.

Aaleeshah

Granted but she becomes like a love sick schoolgirl and can’t get any work done.
I wish I knew what to wish for.

Ashely

wish granted but it can only be for idiotic things

Ashely

i wish for an otter

Junazee

Wish Granted! But it won’t stay out of the toilet.
I wish for it to stop raining EVERYDAY! ^.^

Ashely

wish granted but insted it hails everyday!

i wish for my otter to dislike toilets!

Junazee

Wish Granted! But, now the otter has learned how to turn on the tub water and is constantly turning it on.

I wish my work day was over.

Ashely

wish granted but now you have been selected to save a planet

i wish i could be in the anime RWBY

AidenDru

Granted but you’re only mentioned and never appear onscreen.

I wish I could be a penguin

Tyraal

Granted, but you can only move on your belly

I wish I could turn invisible

EdgarDrachen

Granted but you become blind as well.

I wish I came up with this idea.

Ashely

granted but for lack of clarity you have come up with and absolutely terrible idea

I wish for wold peace

Korroth

Granted, but it’s because everyone was wiped out by war.

I wish the trains would run on time

Ashely

granted but now they only crash into the station on time

i wish for everyone to have a home and food

EdgarDrachen

Granted and now everyone lives with you and eats your food.

I wish they would reboot the Star Wars movies.

Ashely

granted but it uses everyone who originally played in them including the skeletons of the actors

i wish that everyone has a good life

AidenDru

Granted but everyone receives the weezer song good life

I wish people would play more HotS

Ashely

granted but everyone asks very personal questions

i wish for a loving corgi

EdgarDrachen

granted but it doesn’t love you.

I wish Turel would become GM!

Ashely

granted but now he is senile

i wish for happiness to all

LenIode

Granted but you must now hop on one foot everywhere you go!

I wish for Ed to become Fist

AuroraTavar

Granted but the GM only allows Ed to enable clusters for pazaak.

I wish that there was unlimited zeltron cookies.

LenIode

Granted, but they may not have the desired effect.

I wish for Galactic Peace

Ashely

Granted but now everyone is drunk and gambles

I wish for someone to find the light in their heart and turn away from the darkside

LenIode

Granted, but they must hula-hoop two hours every day.

I wish for better pay

EdgarDrachen

granted but they pay you in unusable currency.

I wish Len was Consul

AuroraTavar

granted but Len is only allowed to wave a magical fairy wand and shout “For the Empire!”

I wish that Hoth was warmer.

LenIode

Granted but with it comes Galactic Warming

I wish Kappa was here

EdgarDrachen

Granted and it comes full armed and ready to defeat the enemies of COU.

I wish for chocolate syrup

Greg

Granted, but it’s a hot tub full of chocolate syrup and lounging Wookiees.

I wish for a dance party.

LenIode

Granted, but the only song is the Macarena.

I wish for some mac and cheese

YukiSuoh

Granted, but the sauce is thin and watery.

I wish for good sleep

KeijiSuoh

Granted, but you don’t remember sleeping.

I wish the days and nights were longer