A read-only archive of discourse.darkjedibrotherhood.com as of Sunday May 01, 2022.

[July Pilot] Contract 022: Adam - Undercover, A-Class

RowenaMagnuri

On Behalf of Sight

Sight checked his chrono again as he leaned against the wall of his new office, which was little more than the size of a broom closet. The only furniture was a small side table with pile of datapads sitting on it. The Albino glanced at the closed door and twitched a finger. The Door slid open revealing Dark Jedi Knight Adam Bolera on the other side.

“Enter,” the Krath muttered to the younger Human. With another twitch of his finger the datapad on top of the stack floated to the Battleteam leader whom snatched it from the air as he crossed the threshold.

“What can you-” Adam was cut short as Sight held up one of his pale fingers

“You were one minute late, everything you need is on the datapad, now get out.” With a flick of Sight’s pale wrist Adam found himself gently pushed out of the room the door whisking shut. Blinking at the Krath’s unexpected bluntness the Knight looked at the datapad as it booted up

fingerprint password required
Input accepted
Initiating sound file

“Adam Bolera, It has come to our attention that you are available for a short term mission. The Office of the Shadow Lord and the DIA are asking you to infiltrate a common group of thugs known as the Fazion. The Fazion are a street gang located on Selen, while small in size they have recently begun dealing in a new source of narcotic that has previously been unknown upon Selen. The DIA wants you to infiltrate the gang and identify the source of this new drug. The Office of the Shadow Lord wants you to cause the group to crumble upon itself from the inside, the specifics of this are up to you. The involvement of the Shadow Clan is to remain Unknown in this matter as such you are to take precautions and assume a cover Identification. Good Hunting Knight."

Ending sound file
Open Dossier
Display Dossier

The Fazion Street Gang

Size: 4-8 Members
Leader: Zant Fringar
Age: 26
Second in Command: Grant Fringar
Age: 24
Species: All are Human
Common age: 20-30
Weapons: Knives and knuckle wraps
Danger level: Low
Intel: The Fazion street gang is a low level organization on Selen that poses little to no actual threat to anyone besides the clients they peddle their drugs to. The gang members are usually found in an intoxicated stupor as they tend to dip into their own wares. The Fazion, although not afraid of violence are more likely to intimidate and retreat than spill any blood. It has been recently discovered that their leader and second in command have had a disagreement about a woman and the tactics they imploy. It has also recently come to light that the Fazion group has obtained a new kind of drug that is from an unknown source. The DIA suggest immediate investigation into the supplier of this sophisticated narcotic.

Close Dossier
Close All Files
Power down

AdemBolera

Somewhere in the Slums
Lower Levels, Estle City, Selen

The lower levels of Estle were places that most people with a choice would do their best to avoid for the sake of preserving their wallets, vehicles, and internal organs. For the less fortunate, having just one of any of those was considered a very extravagant luxury. Here, ramshackle structures passed for buildings, comprised of sheets of rusted tin and tarpaulins serving as a poor man’s best attempt at crafting a wall. The air had the humidity of a rainforest, since most of the washout from rain that hit the upper rings of the city ended up here. The sun had difficulty shining through the small spaces allowed by the dense concentration of structures, leaving much of the ground slick and the occasional scents of various alien molds and fungi.

Incidentally, the inhospitable conditions and the bizarre fruits they provided suited many of the inhabitants quite well, since such repulsive crops were their lifeblood. While the actual range of the groups that harvested numbered anywhere between the dozens and hundreds, depending on who one asked, it was no secret that criminals were the ones writing the laws in the forgotten levels of the city.

Two of these inhabitants were much newer than the others, and were searching for something. One was notably taller than the other, and wrapped in a tattered cloth. Two points of yellow light emanated from its head, which appeared to watch anything they gazed upon with both curiosity and menace. The shorter figure dressed about as well as anyone else down in the bowels of Estle, most of his torso covered by a thin and tattered shirt that showed the number of tattoos haphazardly etched into his flesh. A length of chain wrapped around his wrist occasionally reflected the sunlight as he passed through the rays, and his footsteps sent ripples through the neon-lit puddles. If you asked him what his name was, he’d tell you that friends called him Joran Salis, but that you could call him your worst nightmare. The taller figure was apparently his protocol droid and partner in crime, referred to as “Beeps”, given that it appeared to communicate similarly to an astromech.

Of course, neither of the two was using their real identity as they moved through the seedy underbelly of Estle. “Joran Salis” was a cover invented the night before by Adam Bolera, after he was instructed to be an agent of Arcona and flush out gang activity in the streets. His partner was an old and heavily modified IG-100 Magnaguard, Beeps being the assumed name of Adam’s droid partner Echo, who seemed to be displeased by its surroundings.

“I am grateful,” it began as it stopped to survey its surroundings, “that I can only collect olfactory data, instead of experiencing scents. Your organic senses must be miserable down here.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Adam replied, “so you’d better be grateful. How close are we to the target’s main turf?”

“We’re in it. The Fazion street gang primarily peddles their drugs out of the surrounding alleys.” Echo said as it looked over the mission description again. “I hope they keep shipping manifests lying around, I don’t want tracking this junk back to its source to cause unplanned violence.”

“Being junkies themselves, I wouldn’t be surprised, but we should be ready for anything.” Adam mused, placing his arms behind his head, then surveying his altered appearance. “How do I look? Fit the part?”

“The tattoos are less than optimal, but if you keep up a good act, we will not be compromised for some time.” Echo said, crossing its arms and looking “Joran” over.

“That’s your own fault!” Adam snapped back, looking at a low quality rendition of a flame spitting Nexu wrapped around his chest muscle. Echo needed to work on its understanding of both the anatomy of alien fauna and its tattooing skills. “At least it’ll wash out in a week, otherwise I’d cut it right out.”

“Don’t look now,” Echo said as it swiveled its head to look at an alleyway and the man that had emerged to lean on the wall there, “but I think we may have found a Fazion member.”

“Let’s wait him out a second,” Adam said, watching the man patiently, “and see if a buyer comes along. I’m going to use that to get his attention, see who I can talk to about initiation.”

“I could also use this opportunity to examine a sample of the drug, if possible.”

“Plenty of that where we’re going,” Adam assured the droid, then saw his opportunity as he watched a particularly jittery Twi’lek girl approach the human leaning against the dilapidated wall. Adam was amazed it didn’t crumple under the member’s weight, considering how muscled he was. He was also covered in tattoos, of about the same quality Echo had managed as well. No mark was distinctive, indicating that the Fazion was still too young to necessitate a logo to mark their presence. The Twi’lek girl fumbled through her tattered clothing for what credits she had recently scrounged through illicit means, and eagerly flashed them at the human as Adam drew closer.

Since the Yuuzhan Vong War, the spice trade was a shambles, but some criminal ingenuity managed to produce spice variants that were only slightly less valuable than the original glitterstims and the like. The Fazion were becoming increasingly well known for their production of a variant called “nectar”, which evidently produced highs that lasted for several hours in fairly small doses. Some rumors persisted on the spice providing temporary psychic abilities, like the fabled glitterstim telepathy, but the junkies were often poor sources of information. The effects of addiction were rumored to be similar to that of tempest, which the Twi’lek girl demonstrated in the form of her slightly darkened blood vessels and her nervousness.

The Fazion dealer grinned, his smile missing a number of teeth as he produced a small handful of tablets that had a glittering, crystalline structure to them, which the Twi’lek regarded with an almost religious admiration. Just as she snatched them from the dealer’s grasp, an arm wrapped around the front of her neck, and she was bent backwards. Echo also moved to restrain the dealer. “Joran” had made his move to get the Fazion’s attention.

“Karking hell!” he exclaimed, nearly dropping the nectar tablets he still carried. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’ve got questions,” Adam declared loudly as he summoned up whatever he recalled of the accents of rural Corellians, “and I’m thinkin’ you’ll be answering them, lest you and your favorite customer OD a little ahead of schedule!”

“You’re a maniac! Karking lunatic!”

“Exactly,” Adam said as he grinned savagely, “and this karking lunatic wants a cut of your action. Where do I sign up for the Fazion?”

“You a merc?” the dealer asked, confused. “We’ve got room for legbreakers, just let me go and I’ll point you in the right direction!”

“Attaboy!” Adam said as he released the frantic girl, who skittered away into another alleyway. The dealer dusted himself off as Echo released him, then looked at Adam.

“Who are you supposed to be anyway?”
“Joran Salis, and all you need to know is my name, and that I have aggression issues.”

“Of course, of course, pleased to meetcha! Right this way.”

After several minutes of walking and ducking through twisted alleyways that crissed and crossed like a tangled net of snakes, the sunlight had all but disappeared from this part of the city. Adam guessed from their orientation that they were headed towards the mountain that Estle was built into, which struck him as odd. Much further, and the poor residents would have to start building upward into the higher levels of the city, or digging into the rock. The light that had replaced the sun was a rainbow of flickering neon, reflected in the puddles on the narrow street and bathing the walls in their glow. The dealer tapped at a tarpaulin, on the other side of which Adam could feel the pulsing beat of club music playing. The lower right corner snapped up, revealing a gaunt and haggard human face, the eyes of which squinted to recognize a fellow Fazion, then beckoned the two men and the droid inside.

Something resembling a party was going on inside, though only one woman was present, (a particularly bored-looking one at that) and just over half a dozen men. A dilapidated toilet had been converted into a throne, adorned by several old neon signs pulled from outside, which lit the room with a pink and orange glow, despite occasional fluctuation. Adam looked around to see several of the partygoers biting into the very tablets he had seen the dealer selling, and even saw the dealer himself begin to partake in the festivities. Echo beeped several times in order to match its cover, which Adam interpreted as the droid voicing its disgust for its surroundings once again. The man on the “throne” was roused for a moment from his stupor as he noticed the new arrivals, and the woman slid off of his thigh, no doubt to see if there was something more interesting to do. Adam recognized the king of the party almost immediately from the holos the dossier gave him; Zant Fringar, leader of the Fazion. His sandy blonde hair had been shaven into a mohawk, cut close to his scalp, with a number of tribal tattoos etched into the side and back of his head. His brown eyes were set far back into his skull with the influence of the drugs, and it looked as though he hadn’t slept for at least three days. His brother Grant was notably absent from the party. Being the only relatively clean cut looking individual of the group aside from the woman, his lack of attendance was very apparent. The woman herself remained an enigma, though Adam guessed from her looks that she was the item that sparked conflict between the brothers. Her catlike green eyes watched from the darkness as she moved up a floor and watched from a makeshift balcony above as Adam and company were received. Zant got to his feet with apparent effort to address them.

“Well,” he said with in a mostly intelligible slur, “a little bird tells me that we have a prospective recruit!”

“Make it two!” Adam answered in a similar slur, to match the atmosphere of the room. “My droid here is the best deathbot you’re going to find out here.” Something of a half truth.

“How’s that?” Zant asked, intrigued. Adam could already sense that Zant was too inhibited to make a rational decision; he was going to let him join in almost any scenario.

“Well, in each one of his fingers he’s got artillery cannons that would make those old Imperial walkers look like wind up toys.” Adam exaggerated heavily, “I’d show you, but then I’d level this nice place you got.” Echo glared at him, beeping that Adam was full of wampa excrement. Adam just kept on grinning, grateful that only he could understand the droid’s language.

“What about you?” Zant asked, taking another bite at a nectar tablet, “What do you bring to the table, Mr…”

“Joran Salis can fight any man in this room and win.” That was very likely a truth, given the gang’s relatively harmless reputation and unanimous inebriation.

“Well, lucky us!” Zant exclaimed. “We don’t put much of a hurting on people outside, on account of the fact that we’re still growing, but in here we have an initiation tradition. The newest member and someone being initiated both beat the slop out of each other, while on a nectar high. Sound copasheshy?”

“Yeah, tons of fun.” Adam swallowed. He hadn’t expected to be forced to ingest the drug himself, but Echo would be able to run its tests on him, at the very least. Zant beckoned to the small crowd, where a man of roughly Adam’s size was pushed out into the open. A shock of messy hair was dyed orange, just above nervous looking hazel eyes. His skin was pale, no doubt a product of staying down in the Fazion’s stomping grounds for several months. A series of numbers with unclear meaning were tattooed in the inside of his left wrist, with what appeared to be an attempted rendition of a Krayt Dragon on his right arm. Zant smiled and held his arms in the air as the group cleared a space in the center of the room, preparing to amuse their addled brains with good old-fashioned violence. Adam felt something preparing to reach around from behind, but he did not react for the sake of concealing himself. Roughly a quarter of a nectar tablet was stuffed into his mouth, the hand forcibly working his jaw to consume the drug, which tasted like a candy made from gravel and chalk. The man opposite him was also forced to do the same, with a curiously similar expression of disgust on his face, something Adam considered for a moment before the narcotic took hold.

“Joran, meet Ridu Nevran.” Zant said, before his voice distorted into virtual incoherence. The first thing to shift was Adam’s vision, which took every light in the room and intensely bloomed it outwards. The glow of the toilet throne almost completely drowned out the figure of his opponent in a glowing pink tide. Ridu appeared to be a shadowy mass of blackness in the light, with the cheers and jibes of the others washing right over Adam’s ears without ever being given notice. His body moved of its own accord, in what likely appeared to be an amusing display of stumbling and attempts to regain balance.

Focus, this stuff won’t affect you as much as someone else.

Adam’s mind was a fugue of voices as limbs flew sloppily between both men. Impacts were felt, the pain sometimes absent and other times quite apparent as fists connected with noses and teeth. He kept trying to pick out which ones were trying to be heard, versus which ones the nectar was trying to force him to get lost in.

By the Force, you’re a Jedi! Act like it!

Adam’s sliver of consciousness groped for something instinctive, a reflexive approach. Movements drilled constantly to the point of being second nature…

Anticipate…

The black mass swung a left arm from above, sloppy and haphazard. A coherent version of this fight would have been over in a handful of seconds. Adam’s mind finally directed his arms to reach and intercept it.

Disable…

Adam’s hand placed itself over what appeared to be the back of an elbow. The other hand grasping the wrist, it only took one strong push to painfully hyperextend the joint. A pained grunt spoke loudly over the dissonant chorus of the Fazion.

Strike!

Jakelian took over as Adam finished the fight. Powerful hooks connected with either side of Ridu’s face, before a vicious kick in the chest sent him reeling backwards into the crowd. His brain swam with shock before finally succumbing to unconsciousness upon colliding with the floor. Adam smiled; Joran Salis was officially a Fazion member.
Some hours later, Adam tried to consider what he understood thus far. At the cost of an effort, the nectar’s effects had been pushed aside through the use of his extensive physical and mental training, though Adam’s senses were still distorted through the remainder of the evening. He trusted that it was Echo that had drawn his blood in a moment of alone time after the Fazion had given him some accommodations to settle in. Its droid voice remarked on something that sounded like it was ruminating on toxicology reports to itself.

An hour long nap gave Adam’s body the chance to scrub the nectar from its system completely, and he woke to a renewed mind and clear senses. Upon guessing that most of the gang had finally succumbed to their substances and passed out completely, Adam took the opportunity to begin snooping about. Curious about the physical state of his opponent, Ridu, Adam searched for where he recalled Zant mentioning an infirmary of some kind being. The quiet beeping and whirring of stolen medical equipment betrayed its location down the hall. As he reached the door, he sensed a presence around the corner, along with another inside the room. He cast his thoughts to his doorframe, where he quickly conjured an image of himself passing back through into his room, while his true self entered the infirmary. The night guard stopped around the corner for a moment, grunted, then moved back to his post. Adam caught his breath; evidently not all were totally unconscious. His panic was renewed upon sensing a stirring coming from the medical bed.

“Who…” a man mumbled from within the sheets, before grunting with pain.

Kark! He’s definitely waking up after feeling what I did to him.

Adam guessed from the slight familiarity of the man’s presence that it was Ridu. While Adam’s body had already healed from the relatively minor injuries the fight inflicted, Ridu was not as fortunate. Adam grit his teeth as he prepared to be interrogated as to why he was walking around at this time of night, only to be greeted differently than he expected.

“Gang members don’t fight like that,” Ridu groaned, “you’re not like them, I can tell. Jakelian’s hard to miss.” Shocked, Adam tried to play dumb.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Relax,” Ridu assured, “I’m not who I appear to be myself. Jakelian’s taught in a lot of places, but gang members would have a hard time learning it, since the best source around here is the DIA. I’m trained myself, but those damn drugs…” Adam finally breathed. He and Echo weren’t entirely alone.

“I did a real number on you, huh?” he asked in an apologetic manner.

“Dislocated elbow and two cracked ribs.” Ridu laughed. A tough fellow. “Think I feel a couple loose teeth, too. Some kind of training you got, resisting a dose of nectar that size. DIA send you to support me?”

“Sort of. You never came up in anything I read.”

“Great, that means one of two things.” Ridu sighed. “By the way, the real name’s Agent Baldor. Friends call me Arnis. Sister calls me Arnie.”

“Nice to meet you, back to one of two things?”

“Right, right, best to get that done so we both get out of this alive. You being here means that either the DIA has forgotten I exist, or that they’re cautiously ready for me to follow up on what I’ve been sending them so far and put this operation to bed.” Arnis winced a little as he spoke; cracked ribs made breathing a less than pleasurable activity.

“Sounds like it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.” Adam sighed, before realizing what Arnis had said. “What have you learned so far? Any idea where the stuff is coming from, how it’s made?” At that, Arnis chuckled a little.

“Friend, they’ve got me making the damn stuff! Initiates into the gang work as cutters, on account of it being dangerous work!” Adam was stunned; this was going to be easier than he thought. “Grant’s in charge of the drug production, on account of being the smarter of the brothers. I’ll fill you in on everything as we go once they get you started working tomorrow; keep your head down.”

Some hours later, the highs passed and the Fazion were conscious again at a time they had decided was likely to be morning. Adam and Echo were shuffled around their ramshackle base of operations, being given a grand tour. Adam paid as little attention as Echo did, the latter busy reviewing results from testing Adam’s blood, and the former wondering about the operation as a whole. Nectar was one of the only types of viable, potent spice available in years, and would logically have been highly profitable for any group selling it.

So where’s the money going? These guys still live like rats, when all the money this drug should net them could afford the lifestyles of nobility…

The tour guide stopped at one door, giving several knocks in a form of code. It cracked open slightly to reveal a pair of heterochromatic eyes, brown and green with a crazed glow to them. Their owner made a slight motion with two fingers to beckon them inside. Adam’s eyes worked to adjust to the low light of the room, recognizing the conditions necessary to prepare the photosensitive ingredients. Near another door, he saw Arnis waiting, maintaining his Ridu act however much longer he needed to. Adam also guessed at the identity of the man who had allowed them inside, who wore a lab coat and examined the number of opaque containers full of spice with an apparent reverence. Likely Grant, given his apparent understanding of the production of the drug, versus his brother’s money acumen. His hair was brown, and noticeably unkempt in comparison to the original holos Adam had seen of him. As Adam heard Grant quietly sing to himself as he oversaw the production of the drug and occasionally added touches to a batch of his own, it became apparent that while all the members dipped into their own supply of nectar, Grant had made an almost religious habit out of it.

Adam was hurried into the cutting process, with Arnis as his guide. The preparation was not unlike that of glitterstim, keeping a sheet of webbing harvested from energy spiders safe from the light and hardening it into a consumable form. A small cocktail was added to the mixture as they set it to prepare in the opaque containers. Adam would occasionally look back at Grant when no one was watching; his process was far more elaborate, and one batch of his concoction took as long as twenty of theirs. Arnis explained a number of things as they moved along through the process, albeit in a roundabout gang member way that did not betray his intelligence, and managed to be stretched over several hours. In that time, Adam learned that the Fazion first began selling spice nearly a year earlier out of the same location, when they had discovered a large network of abandoned tunnels cut into the mountain, left over from when the tunnel system to the Giletta spaceport was being built. The darkness there was perfect for housing energy spiders, bred from a handful of sets of clones. Arnis arrived around three months into the operation, when the Fringar brothers were inseparable partners looking forward to blowing their ill-gotten fortunes they planned to win.

However, the arrival of the woman changed things when she appeared weeks later. All that Arnis knew of her was that she was called Valaila, and had both of the brothers firmly in her grasp. It didn’t take long for her to convince Zant to start funneling the drug money to an outside source in exchange for her companionship. She had evidently affected Grant as well, as he began taking the nectar far more regularly and working on unique formulas ordered by Valaila and of his own design, having started to buy in on the idea that glitterstim variants could provide superhuman powers. Having offered herself to Grant as well, Valaila had created an increasingly volatile schism between the brothers, effectively leading the Fazion at her own whims.

AdemBolera

By the time all this information had been relayed to Adam, at least three days had passed and he knew the production process inside and out. Even Grant himself occasionally muttered that the work of “Joran Salis” was quality. This was the day that they would need to move into the nests of the energy spiders to gather more webbing, which doubled as something of another party in the meantime. The secret entrance to the abandoned tunnels was the only part of the Fazion base that seemed to have any real investment made into its security, featuring several inches of durasteel plating and at least three electronic locks. Slicers or demolitionists could get in, but it would take a bit of work, even from experts. The entrance to the tunnels was well lit, with another rainbow of neon signs flooding the room with an intermittently flashing glow. The ground was also wet; evidently the tunnels were close to the sewers, and intersected in a few places. The group carried blacklight flashlights, in order to avoid disturbing the spiders or their webbing. Both of the Fringar brothers led the group, followed closely behind by Valaila. She cast wary looks over Adam and occasionally even Arnis, causing him to wonder if they had been made sooner than anticipated. Echo scanned the room, quietly beeping to itself. Adam did not doubt that it was frustrated by the fact that speaking would expose them all. Arnis looked troubled as well, the expression on his face seemed to ache to tell Adam something. They would not be afforded a private moment for some time, as the tunnels were long and they were hugged close to the leaders by the tight quarters.

Finally, the space widened, and Adam could hear skittering sounds. The dark light revealed dozens of spiders crawling around a vast network of thin webbing, scattered all across the tunnel nexus. Despite their jagged appearance, the spiders had a strange beauty to them, as though the Force was weaved into the webs alongside their drug properties. Adam and company past the brothers and Valaila, moving down an incline and close to the center of the room, their voices hushed. Arnis was the first to speak.

“Something’s not right,” he said, an undertone of panic in his voice, “those three are up to something.”

“How’s that?” Adam asked, also wary of the triumvirate’s sudden gathering.

“You know what we’ve been prepping all week? I don’t think it’s really nectar.”

“What?”

“I didn’t get a chance to say it, but our materials were odd.” Arnis produced a fragment of a tablet. “Taste it and tell me something doesn’t seem strange.” Adam did so, and did not notice any kind of effects, but did notice the taste was off.

“Kind of sugary…”

“Exactly!” Arnis exclaimed, before hushing himself. “These last batches have been placebos. Addicts don’t know the difference, but why?” At that, Echo chimed in.

“Something the toxicology report revealed; as a glitterstim variant, nectar provides psychoactive effects akin to Force sensitivity for a limited time. They are relatively harmless, and only disorient actual Force sensitives, like yourself.” Adam glared at Echo to try and shush him, but Arnis heard.

“You’re a Jedi?” Arnis asked eagerly.

“Maybe.”

“Freelance?”

“Possibly.”

“Are you aware of how many non-committal answers you give?”

“I might be. The only thing that matters is that I’m on your side.” Adam turned back to Echo. “What do the placebos mean? Grant must be making much more powerful doses.”

“Lack of exposure to the drug can be dangerous, even with placebos. Taking an enhanced cocktail in a state of withdrawal multiplies the power of the dose exponentially, and could grant powerful telekinetic abilities to addicts of many kinds of spices, not just nectar.” Echo looked at Adam, it’s yellow eyes expressing a droid form of worry. “They could become very destructive.”

“What’s itching me is why.” Arnis wondered. “No way the Fazion profits from this. Superpowered poor people just mean that the defense forces are going to vaporize this part of town.” The group silenced themselves as Zant approached, though he appeared friendly.

“What do you think, boys?” he said, a jovial, drug-induced tone to his voice once again. “Isn’t this the prettiest drug lab you’ve ever been in?” Adam and Arnis nodded urgently; it was fortunate for them that Zant was the less bright of the brothers.

However, Zant was very unlucky by comparison in the next few moments. Adam and Arnis watched Grant and Valaila talking quietly between themselves in the distance, out of earshot of Zant and the group. He looked back to Zant, who was watching the spiders dance along the webbing above him. Suddenly, his chest bloomed open, a blue bolt ripping through his vital organs and passing straight through, hitting Arnis in the thigh. Shocked, Adam looked back at Grant and Valaila, to see the latter brandishing a Westar blaster. Echo immediately tended to the wounded Arnis upon seeing that Zant was clearly dead, while Adam tried to understand what was going on.

“More than just a pretty face, huh?” he called to Valaila. It was the first time they had spoken.

“That’s a trite way of putting it,” she said in a confident lilt, “but I suppose it works.”

“Who are you?”

“I think you should be more concerned with who my employers are. I work for a Hutt, who is very interested in gaining a foothold in Dajorra.” she replied, her face twisting into a smile as she placed a hand on Grant’s shoulder and led him closer to the group. He was beaming.

“My lady has a plan for the people of this cesspool of a district,” he began, his voice shaky but excited, “she wants me to help these people transcend their miserable existence.”

“How do you intend to do that? Nectar?” Adam interrogated further. His fingers ached for his lightsaber, hidden within the wrappings of Echo’s cloak, but he could not risk revealing himself at this juncture, not with the danger of a Hutt learning of Arconan involvement.

“Precisely, precisely!” Grant answered, clapping his hands together. “My latest concoction will awaken power in them the likes of which no one has ever seen! They will not be ignored any longer! My brother only understood the money; Valaila has removed that obstacle to help me enact my vision.” It was abundantly clear that Grant had lost his mind at that point. Valaila removed her hand from his shoulder; something was still amiss. “She understands! Knows my worth. Thanks to her work as my muse, I understand how to use spice to reach into the minds of others.” Adam’s heart caught in his throat, before he raised as many mental walls as he could. He would protect Arcona just a little longer, though not his cover identity. “We are surrounded by coiled snakes, my dear. DIA infiltrators.” Grant said as he turned to Valaila again, only to be greeted with the Westar’s barrel pointed straight at his chest.

“Terribly sorry, sweetheart, but I’m not your dear.” Valaila said before unceremoniously snapping off another shot, “My business plan never included either of you.” The impact staggered Grant backwards, and he stumbled into one of the masses of webbing. In seconds, the spiders descended on him. What life energy remained in his body was drained in an instant, his face warped into a horrified and heartbroken expression. Adam was filled with revulsion for this woman; he resolved to bring her a grim fate before he would even think of allowing her to enact her plan.

“You sure it was smart to murder your business partners like that?” Adam reasoned, hard pressed to separate the bubbling fury from his calm voice, “No more nectar without them.”

“No need for it,” Valaila answered, “not once I give the order to start selling Grant’s last batch.”

“You know what you’re doing? You’ll force the defense forces to kill hundreds of people if you sell this stuff!”

“Not the concern of my employer,” she replied, checking a datapad, “and not any of mine as a result. My job was to clear the district so he could move his operation into Dajorra and win the loyalty of the survivors with a hearts-and-minds campaign, lessening the power of the authorities. Almost done with my part, just have to destroy the evidence of the caves. Flooding it from the sewers should do the trick. Now, if you’d please, be dears and drown for me.” She produced a trigger, and pressed it as she walked off through the door, detonating charges set somewhere along the walls. The smell of the caves immediately shifted to a putrid scent of city waste. The tunnels would flood within minutes; if Adam and Echo remained, they would die with the Fringar brothers. Adam ordered Echo to pick up and carry the wounded Arnis, who was flitting in and out of consciousness.

“Get him to safety, medical attention,” Adam said hurriedly, taking his lightsaber from Echo. “Lend me your eye, then find a way to slice into a local broadcast.” The droid obliged, removing a photoreceptor in a confused manner.

“What is your intention?”

“I’m going to send a message.”

Adam rushed through the darkness as the sewers drained into the derelict tunnels, hoping that he was not too far behind. There was one landing pad in the poor districts of Estle; Adam’s hunch was that Valaila had planned passage to the spaceport from there, giving the order to put the deadly new brand of nectar on the street and send addicts on a rampage from the safety of a transport. His path blocked by a metal door, he ripped into it with the emerald blade of his lightsaber, which had no doubt been aching for use. On the other side, Adam’s eyes squinted at the return of the sunlight, pouring in through a gaping hole in the tunnel wall. He burst out into the fresh air, letting the Force back into his body to lend him its aid once more as he crashed down through a tin roof. Never stopping to check if the fall had injured him, he continued the hunt.

He could still sense Valaila’s dark thoughts; she was near, and he was closing in fast. He darted through the shanty like a sparrow, zigging and zagging through the jagged corners and switchbacks that comprised the unorthodox set of structures. He moved through the homes of people in the middle of meals, rushing straight across a table and diving out a window that seemed to have been broken for some time, and finally saw the transport pad before him. He could see Valaila inside the slow freight elevator, moving towards the waiting YT-2000 transport; they would arrive at the same time.

Adam ducked behind a stack of fuel tanks to avoid being seen as Valaila arrived, followed by an entourage of guards he had not seen before; likely Hutt mercenaries.

Not your lucky day, bastards. Cast your lot with her? Better say your prayers.

His telekinetic grasp wrapped itself around a fuel tank and hurled it towards the guards as they closed on the ramp of the waiting transport. One’s spine was crushed by the impact, another knocked to the ground, and Adam snapped into the air and landed on him, saber blade coming to life to swiftly burn into his lung. He sent the blade whirling through the air to decapitate the third guard, then it severed a leg out from under the fourth at the knee. The fuel tank had already begun leaking, the oozing liquid spreading fast over the entire pad as the transport prepared to take off. Adam did not see Valaila, and guessed that she had already hurried inside to tell the pilot to speed up the departure. He gave the saber a final twirl upon its return to his palm, the edge clipping the trail of fuel to light it, and set the dead and dying men ablaze. Adam prayed that he could wipe away the memories of his rampage as swiftly as he eliminated the physical evidence of it as he slipped into the closing transport.

Valaila sighed deeply as she sank back into the passenger seat in the cockpit of the YT-2000. This assignment had been an ordeal of several months, and she couldn’t wait to be free of it. Zant was a pig, and it was evident that Grant had spent very little time learning to understand women. She would get around to sending the order out in a few minutes, but why rush? It would be safer to do so from orbit after leaving the spaceport. The pilot was quiet, which was a welcome sound in comparison to the constant noise Valaila was subjected to among the Fazion. The payoff from this job was likely to be the last that she would need for years; perhaps she could even retire? The thought was tantalizing, but she hadn’t a thought on what to do for excitement. Men were too easy for her, there wasn’t much thrill left in using her looks to bend them to her whims. She looked to her left at the pilot, whose eyes were fixed on the instruments to the point that he was oblivious to her. He was fairly handsome, a strong jawline and close cropped sandy blonde hair, blue eyes. Perhaps she should make an investment for once in her life to change things up? She giggled to herself at the novelty of the thought. That got the pilot’s attention.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, hands still steady on the controls.

“Oh, nothing,” Valaila replied. She never got to finish her response, as her voice caught in her throat when a luminous leaf-green streak bloomed out of the pilot’s chest. He was dead in an instant, and she felt invisible fingers tighten around her waist, rip her from her safety restraints, and sent her hurtling back through the cockpit tunnel and into a wall. She was pinned, unable to move despite her feet being planted on the floor. Her vision cleared again, and saw that “Joran” had found her. He fixed the controls into a stable position, leaving the ship hovering in place.

“What… are you?” she asked through strained lungs. “Jedi?”

“Something like that,” Adam replied, “but not the kind you’re hoping for.”

“Everyone has… a price…I guarantee you… a Hutt can…”

“Buy me?” Adam scoffed. “Not a chance, but I should thank you. You just made this next decision much easier.” He deactivated his lightsaber, then pulled open a hatch on the wall and began rummaging through the communication equipment, rigging something to the wiring. “Smile, you’re on camera.” He reached for a radio that he had kept concealed. “Showtime, Echo; slice the broadcasting channel.”

“What are you doing?” Valaila asked, unable to hide the fear that now underlined her voice.

“Well, three things. Exposing the operation before the new nectar hits the streets, faking my cover identity’s death, and last but not least, putting you out of my misery.” He produced one of the nectar placebo tablets and let Valaila drop back to the floor, barely able to move. Adam turned to the rigged camera, wearing a mad look on his face as he started the show.

“Hello, Estle. My name is Joran Salis, and I’m a Fazion member. I have something to show you. A new brand of Fazion nectar is about to hit the streets; names I’m sure the authorities know well. But-” he raised the fake tablet to the camera, and took a bite, “this new stuff has an extra kick for people who already have a habit.” He waited a few moments, pantomiming a rush from the drugs, then unleashed his telekinetic grasp on Valaila again, pinning her to the wall once more. “Unless you want most of Selen’s glit-biters and other spice addicts tearing the place apart with their minds, you’ll intercept the sales locations leaking to the police now. This woman was going to force the defense forces to wipe out the poor districts so a Hutt could move in. Now, she’s going to pay for it, and you get a taste of what happens when people who have been treated like they don’t exist finally get their hands on a little power.” He took a ball bearing from his pocket, cast it into the air and pressed Valaila’s torso harder as to not allow her air to speak. The ball drifted through the air slowly and menacingly, until the cold durasteel stopped against her forehead. “You’ve earned this.” Adam said coldly, before cutting the feed and removing Echo’s eye from the communication panel… Valaila crashed to the floor again, gasping and coughing.

“What… are you doing?” she choked, “You said… you would… execute me?”

“I lied,” Adam answered, “it’s this thing I do, a habit.”

“You’ve got… no idea… what the Hutts will do to me…”

“Not my problem. Fake your death, disappear like me. I’m giving you a chance to be better. There’s been too much death today on both our parts.” He summoned the ball bearing back to his hand, tossing it up and down nonchalantly. “I rigged your leftover explosives to go off in a minute, should take this ship with it and leave everyone thinking we’re dead. I’ll get you out, but that’s all the help you’re getting from me.”

“Thank…you?”

“Damn straight, it’s more than you deserve.” he said, before gruffly snatching up her broken body, opening the loading bay, and leaping from the doomed craft into the sprawling city.

ACB Contract Offices
Arcona Citadel
Estle City, Selen

Sight’s gaze rose from his desk, sighing at the prospect of more work. If he wasn’t working on a contract himself, he was stuck here sorting out the paperwork. A tap at the doorframe revealed a disheveled figure, but one with a familiar presence in the Force. A small war between light and dark raged within him, marking the fellow as none other than Adam Bolera, but one who looked rather awful in comparison to his typically handsome self. He also reeked of hindsight and raw sewage.

“Adam. Surprisingly you’re on time, but why is it that you smell like…” he asked, the mere thought of what the smell could be causing him to trail off.

“Don’t ask, long story. The operation is canned, the nectar’s gone. It was a front for a Hutt trying to plant himself into the system.”

“I saw the broadcast, it was quite public. Were you compromised?” Sight asked, ensuring that all contract conditions were fulfilled.

“If I was, anybody who knows is dead.”

“Perhaps, though a communique sent to us this morning might say otherwise. Do you know of an Arnis Baldor?”

“He made it?” Adam asked, stunned.

“Yes, the DIA forwarded a message for the Jedi that was contracted. He said to offer his thanks for gaining his pension and retirement early, at the cost of one leg and a need for a prosthetic.”

“He’s earned it, that’s a lot to lose.”

“He says he was happy to pay it to shut the Fazion down. The Hutt involvement was a surprise, I trust the operative was neutralized?” Sight pried a little more.

“She won’t be anyone’s problem if she knows what’s good for her.” he admitted.

“Very well. Undercover work is stressful for the mind, that’s all we can fairly ask for now. Do what you need to be fit for duty again, but please; shower as soon as possible.”

RowenaMagnuri

Grade: Satisfactory


Now I’ll jump right into the grading, as this one is also 7,000+ words…

Incidentally, the inhospitable conditions and the bizarre fruits they provided suited many of the inhabitants quite well, since such repulsive crops were their lifeblood. While the actual range of the groups that harvested numbered anywhere between the dozens and hundreds, depending on who one asked, it was no secret that criminals were the ones writing the laws in the forgotten levels of the city.

Your second sentence is structured poorly and seems to run away into an incoherent mess. Whilst I can understand what you mean, it causes the reader to pause to read over the sentence several times, therefore interrupting the flow of your overall story.

Of course, neither of the two was using their real identity as they moved through the seedy underbelly of Estle. “Joran Salis” was a cover invented the night before by Adam Bolera, after he was instructed to be an agent of Arcona and flush out gang activity in the streets. His partner was an old and heavily modified IG-100 Magnaguard, Beeps being the assumed name of Adam’s droid partner Echo, who seemed to be displeased by its surroundings.

The second sentence is structured poorly. This contract seems to contain less effort writing-wise than your previous one. And you also pointed out that the Magnaguard was referred to as ‘Beeps’ in the previous paragraph.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Adam replied, “so you’d better be grateful. How close are we to the target’s main turf?”

I pointed out this dialogue error in the grading of your previous contract. As it has been previously pointed out, I will not do so again in the grading of this one.

“We’re in it. The Fazion street gang primarily peddles their drugs out of the surrounding alleys.” Echo said as it looked over the mission description again. “I hope they keep shipping manifests lying around, I don’t want tracking this junk back to its source to cause unplanned violence.”

Same as the last comment. Read the grading of Contract 009 - This was mentioned in almost the exact same manner as the previous contract. Also, the second bit of dialogue barely makes sense. I can’t even think of a way to offer a suggestion of improvement.

“Being junkies themselves, I wouldn’t be surprised, but we should be ready for anything.” Adam mused, placing his arms behind his head, then surveying his altered appearance. “How do I look? Fit the part?”

The entirety of this paragraph is poorly phrased and you use repetitive commas to seemingly fix this. An example of how I would write this:

“I wouldn’t be surprised, considering that they’re junkies themselves. Still, we should remain vigilant,” Adam mused, placing his arms behind his head as he surveyed his altered appearance. “How do I look? Do you think I fit the part?”

“Let’s wait him out a second,” Adam said, watching the man patiently, “and see if a buyer comes along. I’m going to use that to get his attention, see who I can talk to about initiation.”

The quality of your writing seems to have deteriorated since the previous contract. If you’re going to insist upon an attempt to write in this manner, I have two suggestions for future use:

“Let’s wait him out a second to see if a buyer comes along,” Adam instructed as he watched the dealer patiently. “I’m going to use that to get his attention and see who I need to talk to about initiation.”

or

“Let’s watch him first to see if a buyer comes along. I will use that to gain his attention and try to see who I would need to approach about initiation,” Adam explained as patiently as he could to the Magnaguard, his gaze focused on the Dealer.

“Plenty of that where we’re going,” Adam assured the droid, then saw his opportunity as he watched a particularly jittery Twi’lek girl approach the human leaning against the dilapidated wall. Adam was amazed it didn’t crumple under the member’s weight, considering how muscled he was. He was also covered in tattoos, of about the same quality Echo had managed as well. No mark was distinctive, indicating that the Fazion was still too young to necessitate a logo to mark their presence. The Twi’lek girl fumbled through her tattered clothing for what credits she had recently scrounged through illicit means, and eagerly flashed them at the human as Adam drew closer.

How do you know that she got the money through illegal means? Details matter.

Also - ‘human’ should be capitalized, as it is a species in the Star Wars universe.

“Karking hell!” he exclaimed, nearly dropping the nectar tablets he still carried. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The use of a different language is generally indicated by the use of italics:

Karking hell!”

“Well, in each one of his fingers he’s got artillery cannons that would make those old Imperial walkers look like wind up toys.” Adam exaggerated heavily, “I’d show you, but then I’d level this nice place you got.” Echo glared at him, beeping that Adam was full of wampa excrement. Adam just kept on grinning, grateful that only he could understand the droid’s language.

Realism error - Anyone who spends enough time around Astromech droids would be able to understand what your droid is saying.

“How’s that?” Adam asked, also wary of the triumvirate’s sudden gathering.

Triumvirate is indicative of an equal partnership.

“Lack of exposure to the drug can be dangerous, even with placebos. Taking an enhanced cocktail in a state of withdrawal multiplies the power of the dose exponentially, and could grant powerful telekinetic abilities to addicts of many kinds of spices, not just nectar.” Echo looked at Adam, it’s yellow eyes expressing a droid form of worry. “They could become very destructive.”

Major realism and continuity error here.

First off, you had your character almost panicking over the fact that the droid was talking when it should only be beeping. Then you had him turn to the droid for a report and seemed to invite actual dialogue.

And this is not even mentioning the fact that your character is in a tunnel. No matter how low you speak, the other three would be able to gather the gist of your conversation. They would also be able to tell that the droid isn’t beeping.

And finally, I don’t see how that wouldn’t be suspicious.

“Not the concern of my employer,” she replied, checking a datapad, “and not any of mine as a result. My job was to clear the district so he could move his operation into Dajorra and win the loyalty of the survivors with a hearts-and-minds campaign, lessening the power of the authorities. Almost done with my part, just have to destroy the evidence of the caves. Flooding it from the sewers should do the trick. Now, if you’d please, be dears and drown for me.” She produced a trigger, and pressed it as she walked off through the door, detonating charges set somewhere along the walls. The smell of the caves immediately shifted to a putrid scent of city waste. The tunnels would flood within minutes; if Adam and Echo remained, they would die with the Fringar brothers. Adam ordered Echo to pick up and carry the wounded Arnis, who was flitting in and out of consciousness.

She’s holding a gun aimed at you. She wouldn’t shift her focus from you or the droid to pull out and glance at a datapad. Major realism error.

His telekinetic grasp wrapped itself around a fuel tank and hurled it towards the guards as they closed on the ramp of the waiting transport. One’s spine was crushed by the impact, another knocked to the ground, and Adam snapped into the air and landed on him, saber blade coming to life to swiftly burn into his lung. He sent the blade whirling through the air to decapitate the third guard, then it severed a leg out from under the fourth at the knee. The fuel tank had already begun leaking, the oozing liquid spreading fast over the entire pad as the transport prepared to take off. Adam did not see Valaila, and guessed that she had already hurried inside to tell the pilot to speed up the departure. He gave the saber a final twirl upon its return to his palm, the edge clipping the trail of fuel to light it, and set the dead and dying men ablaze. Adam prayed that he could wipe away the memories of his rampage as swiftly as he eliminated the physical evidence of it as he slipped into the closing transport.

Prodigy in the Force or not, this is a much higher level of skill than a Dark Jedi Knight would be able to do. And that’s not even considering that, from a certain point of view, everyone in the DB could be seen as prodigies. With very little time, they improve in their control of the Force by leaps and bounds whereas this training would normally take years.

Due to all of the constant errors mentioned above, I must give this a score of Satisfactory. I look forward to seeing how you improve in future contracts.