[June Pilot] Contract 003: Lexiconus - Assassination, A-Class

ACB Contract Offices
Lower Levels, Arcona Citadel
Estle City, Selen

The Onderonian poured a drink as soon as the Warlord was out of sight. There was an uneasy alliance between himself and the Rollmaster due to Celevons friendship with the older mans fiance.

The Prelate sat back down and took a swig from the glass, sighing in relief at the burning down his throat. Without looking up, he called out, Hunter Lexiconus. Come in and take a seat.

The Togruta raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told. You have a job I can do, Prelate Edraven?

First things first, kid. My name is Celevon. Use it. None of this formality osik, the Obelisk grumbled, searching through the holodisks before tossing one at the Inquisitor.

It landed in his lap. Lexiconus activated the unit and began reading:

Mission: Assassination, A-Class
Target: Ivan Erickson, Twilek Male, Aged between 25 and 35 years
Specifics: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to kill this man in whatever manner you so choose. Hes a spice dealer, so he should be fairly easy to find.
Resistance: None, so long as you dont make the kill obvious in front of one of his customers

Do you have any further information for me? Such as a description… Lexiconus spoke softly, looking up at the Prelate.

As for a description, it wont be needed. The contract was submitted by a concerned parent. This dealer is selling to children, making the drugs into the shape of candy so they can get their friends hooked without resistance. Good hunting.

Lexiconus, queasy from trying to cope with the rush of the speeder, was startled by the beeps of the holographic projector before him. The device shone a blue light up and the Onderonian appeared once again, with his drink in hand.

“Lexiconus, today is a new day, and a new test for you. To prove you’re blood-worthy in a mission. Your target is Mr. Ivan Erickson, a Twi’lik male, shouldn’t be hard to find, big floppy tails out of his head and ugly looks. He’s a spice dealer, giving away drugs to the locals of Estle City. But that’s not the worst part, this man deals the spices to children and gains a profit in doing so. Remove him.”

The holographic man disappeared to be replaced by a stream of text.

Target: Ivan Erickson
Location: In the Selen square gardens.
Specifics: Ivan is a not a local, but he knows the streets well and has many contacts looking out for his profits, be aware that you too might be watched. Also, if he runs, do not lose him as he will take you on a trip to remember. He has been doing this for years, so be cautious about any weaponry he might hold, or if he has an escape vehicle ready.

With that, Lex gave a nod to Celevon and left the Commissioner’s office.

The Nebulon-S Swoop waited in the alley, near the Selen gardens, watching with minimal power running. He waited around for a chance to see his usual routine. This was his chance to monitor his prey, observe how he arrives, who are his regular customers, how he restocks and how he departs. The task was not going to be easy, but a stone throw from glory made Lex feel great. Somewhere away from the garden, that would be the best place for a trap.

Lexiconus looked at the beauty of the Selen gardens, high, tidy evergreen trees guarded the fences around the square, leaving slight openings for the curious to peer in and see the thousands of dahlias, orchids, tulips and other exotic plants not seen on this planet. He sat patiently in the third alley south on the west side of the square, his swooper leaning against the wall.

He began to remember life in tropical places, back in his homeworld of Shili. The Canopy farms were always a treat for him, just to remove himself from normal society and have fun. Climbing 60 meters up just to chase a purple-haired monkey never bothered him, and these Passion-Gibbons were a delicacy many would pay high prices for. Which was even better for Lex to lace his pockets with. All with some required effort and muscle work.

This helped Lex remember that you don’t get anywhere without earning it. That you have to work hard and do your best, and if you fall you pick yourself up and climb back up again. Having the experience of reaching the giant canopy trees, dicing with death and focusing solely on the prey grinded Lex into believing in himself, boosting his confidence securely. Very few could connect with Lex when he was so concentrated, apart from one. His Chief, Tjl. He was one of the rare few who also took the time to catch passion-gibbons as a boy. Easily able to catch up with Lex, Tjl was more than capable of collecting the monkeys. On one, dark summer night, Lex awaited, 48 meters up, watching two passion-gibbons sleep, he was about to climb up their tree. Suddenly out of the bush, a giant shroud lept from 20 meters above, soaring down into the branches that they rested and broke them into pieces. The gibbons were gone, but the Togruta clung onto the main trunk of the tree holding two purple corpses. He was an ace with agility and stealth.

This shaped Lex into what he is today, formed the foundations of his actions. It began to give rise to the constant determination to succeed, something consistent to hold onto in his life. To be the best, and to live.

After the devastation that led to his fall from Shili, he was collected unknowingly by his master and his ascension began. A member of the Dark Brotherhood collected his corpse and brought it to Antei. They taught him to use this new fire to fuel his power of the Dark Side. Such a powerful emotion lent strength. As he took his path to the Force, he took an interest in the deceiving, all things guile and poisons in particular. It helped with the rage and hate that bubbled inside the boy. Diligence and analysis focused the boy, from the teachings of his fearless Master.

It’s why he was here, a simple and indecisive way to strengthen yourself was always to weaken others. Removing this dealer would weaken the cartel, but there would be a replacement eventually, he had to leave a message.

The following morning from the observation Lex learnt all he could about his target. He arrived sharply at 9am to deliver his first batch of “Candy” to the lining children at his car, then sped off and did not return until 12pm. Where he came back and parked in the alley next to me in the V-35 Courier, then walked into the Garden and sat on the same bench to deliver more “Candy” to the children. He noticed, this blue jacket wearing Dug continued to persist the dealer for more and more Candy each time and prodded the dealer’s bag. He is sent on his way before any violence from the Dug occurred, probably best for the Dug. Then he returned every hour after 3pm with more supplies, and each time, the Dug, and his two Bith friends returned. Lex now had a plan.

He waited for the Dug and Bith to finish grabbing their supplies and then fired up his Swoop’s engines, intimidating the Dug to look his way. The Togruta edged the boy to come closer, then softly slips him bag of credits, whispering. “You can keep this bag if you do two things for me; First, pick-pocket the dealer’s keys and give them to me. Once I’m done, I’ll hand you them back and you put them back with him. Second, pester him to get more Candy from his Courier. Go on,” The Dug and Bith both nodded simultaneously, rushing over to the Dealer.

He watched his masterplan take place, the Bith twins poked and prodded at the dealer, as the Dug dipped his deft hands into his pocket and found the keys. He then rushed over to me on his arms happily and used them as legs. With the biggest, most smelly grin he handed me the keys. “Nice job, mind my swooper,” I slowly walked over to the Alley of his Courier, with my heavy bag in hand. His Courier was six times slower than my swooper, there would not be a speeding chase. He had to be quick and full of guile. Lex used the keypad to unlock the car, he opened the boot and laced it reflecting mirrors, then he placed laser detectors in the very corners, concealed behind the mirrors. He shut the trunk carefully then slowly walked back to the driver’s seat, he climbed inside, lifting the back panel off to the trunk, he began to slowly pull out a white and silver tube and carefully placed the tube inside the panel and wires the conduit area, up to the laser detectors. The plan was flawed as to whether the dealer would use the boot, but he prepared for anything. Lex locked the tube into place and turned on the circuitry, then he increased the amount of flow from the tube. This was your normal fuel for your Swooper but with a twist, inside the silver container, he placed a toxic sap, untraceable on this planet as it is an exotic liquid. The properties melt fabric, flesh and bone when in contact. The fire should consume the Courier, but the toxin would make it look like he burnt to death, evaporating simultaneously.

He carefully locked up the courier again and returned to the children by his swooper then tossed the Dug the keys and then threw the Bith the bag he used. “Keep it, dude. Now return the keys and perform plan-B,” They nodded in excitement and quickly rushed over. However, the dealer noticed Lex talking to them and gave a puzzled, but stern look over him. Lex began to walk away, back to his swooper and sat on it he ignited the engine to leave. Distracted by the tugging and slapping of his arm, the dealer looked down to see the pestering grins and heard the pleas from the Dug and two Bith. “Open the trunk, please!” Is all Lex heard, the yearning of the addicted saddened him, which fuelled his determination more.

Lex awaited for the dealer to finally give in, to be fed up of the pestering from his clients. The Twi’lek finally did so, and returned to his courier to fetch more supplies from the trunk. Much to Lexs surprise, the children followed him, this was not safe. Lex jumped off his swooper and ran at the alley, with the remote detonator in hand. When he arrived he saw the Twi’lek with his hands on the trunk. “Stop, Ivan!” The man quickly turned, with a pale complexion down his face. “How do you know me!?” Without a reply, he jumped into his Courier and floored the accelerator. The Togruta waited several seconds, at least until he was safely distant down the alley, then pressed the detonator.

The explosion forced the wind to knock the trees in the garden back, with glass shattered and fell like snow. The purple flames encroached upon the driver as he screams of agony as he felt his lips and cheeks peel and melt from his face. After so many minutes of burning flesh and smoke, the screams fell silent. There would be little time to run, Lex quickly stepped back to the Swooper as the pedestrians and locals began to come out and watch the fire. The Dug and Bith both looked at Lex with a saddened expression, almost out of plea.

“Don’t eat Candy, it’s bad for you,” Lex stated to them, then shot off down the alley he came and slowly drove to the wreck. He hid his swooper behind the ruin and checked inside the cockpit, only to see a puddle of pink goo. With stern nod, he drove off back to Celevon, to report his work.

Grade–[Needs work] - 1 point

Though the story was good, you need to work on your command of the English language. For example, from your first paragraph, you mention being on a speeder, then walking from the ACB office. That’s a large hole in continuity there, as there’s no reason how that could happen.

You also manage to change tense, as seen here:

The Nebulon-S Swoop waited in the alley, near the Selen gardens, watching with minimal power running. He waited around for a chance to see his usual routine. This was his chance to monitor his prey, observe how he arrives, who are his regular customers, how he restocks and how he departs. The task was not going to be easy, but a stone throw from glory made Lex feel great. Somewhere away from the garden, that would be the best place for a trap.

You go from past tense in the first sentence to present tense in the third sentence. Tense changes make the work messy and break flow, along with not being correct use English language.

The following morning from the observation Lex learnt all he could about his target. He arrived sharply at 9am to deliver his first batch of “Candy” to the lining children at his car, then sped off and did not return until 12pm. Where he came back and parked in the alley next to me in the V-35 Courier, then walked into the Garden and sat on the same bench to deliver more “Candy” to the children.

There are some issues here that are repeated through the contract, so it makes a good example. In the first sentence, the word ‘the’ isn’t required. You often insert articles into sentences unneeded, such as ‘the’, ‘a’, and ‘an’

You change the point of view of the story in the second sentence here, going from third to first: LEX learned all he could about his target, then: Where he came back and parked in the alley next to ME. The point of view should never change in writing. Choose one and stick with it. You do it again later on:

He watched his masterplan take place, the Bith twins poked and prodded at the dealer, as the Dug dipped his deft hands into his pocket and found the keys. He then rushed over to me on his arms happily and used them as legs. With the biggest, most smelly grin he handed me the keys. “Nice job, mind my swooper,” I slowly walked over to the Alley of his Courier, with my heavy bag in hand. His Courier was six times slower than my swooper, there would not be a speeding chase. He had to be quick and full of guile. Lex used the keypad to unlock the car, he opened the boot and laced it

Again, here, you suddenly change from third person to first person, then back to first person. Make sure to keep the point of view the same.

A good plan, and a well thought out story, but your syntax and grammar need work for you to score higher.