[June Pilot] Contract 018: Lexiconus - Security, A-Class

Consul’s Office - Arcona Citdel

The Shadow Lords office was large enough to be intimidating, had he chose to make it so. Instead, the room seemed largely vacant, awards and honors hanging on the spartan walls, a beautiful, desk of polished, imported wood and a set of computer terminals all lined up next to one another. Behind them, Marick Arconae, Consul of Clan Arcona looked across his desk at the young Togruta that stood before him at attention.

“At ease,” the Consul said, and he could see Lexiconus relax visibly. “Valtiere tells me you’re progressing quickly with your studies.”

“Yes sir,” he replied with a slight bow, his eyes flashing momentarily with pride.

“He also tells me you are close to Knighthood. I would like to see if this is the case myself,” The Consul continued, voice calm as a gentle breeze over a lake. "I have a matter of urgency here on Selen. Representative A’lir Benai is here on business to make sure trade regulations are up to standard. A very routine endeavor, but my agents have warned me that there is a gang of offworlders taking up residence in our city with hopes of undermining the Shadesworn authority. Knowing this, I want you to serve as escor for A’lir as he inspects Giletta Spaceport. Be warry. My intel shows that the off-worlders have hired Bounty Hunter Ra’agala to eliminate Represenative A’lir. I don’t think you need me to explain the re-precautions should they succeed.

“I’ve attached A’lir’s dossier to your datapad, as well as relevant information. Be discreet, but I trust that you will be able to handle this mission. Good luck.”

Datapad Attachment

>>>Represenative A’lir Benai
*>>Race: Twi’lek - Male | Skin: Blue | Eyes: Green | Age: 30 | 5’10 / 165lbs
*>>Skills: Diplomacy (+3), Blasters (+1) , Intellect (+2), Athletics (+0)

>>>Bounty Hunter Ra’agala
>>Race: Bothan - Male | Fur: Dark Brown, streaks of gray | Eyes: Blue | Age: 40 | 6’2/ 200lbs
>>Skills: Athletics (+2), Might (+1), Blasters (+2), Blunt Weapons (+2), Might (+2)

Giletta Spaceport

As Lexiconus stood in the office of the Shadow Lord, his arms crossed in concentration on the vital words that were processed from the Consul’s mouth. This security matter was an urgent and important step for Lexiconus to progress further into his training. With an acknowledged nod, he opened the attached datapad and began to read the dossier on the Representative and the Bounty Hunter.

Contact: Representative A’lir Benai, Male Twi’lik, Blue, Green Eyes
Resistance: Ra’agala, Male Bothan, Brown-grey, Blue Eyes
Location: Giletta Spaceport, Selen

Lexiconus sighed. “Well, Ra’agala is stronger and quicker than me, as most Bothan are but I have cunning. It says I can meet A’lir at Driftwood. Consider A’lir safe.” Lex gave a stern nod as he shoved the datapad into his pocket, then headed back to his swoop.

With a swift haste, Lexiconus raced to the spaceport, as he watched the road exiting Estle City. Visions of A’lir clouded his mind, many of them with headshots, or a bludgeoned pulp on the floor. Some day dreams were too explicit to describe, only knowing that they involved an unlit fire pit, a pair of restraints, and a portable blender. ‘Why trust me? Am I capable?’ He solemnly thought that his abilities were exceeded by this mysterious-yet-informed bounty hunter. Thoughts were disregarded in lieu of his driving concentration. As he came closer to his destination, built up and sterile manors lined the road, with service droids darting in and out of each security gate. Finally, arriving at the precise manor he wanted. ‘Driftwood’ it said on the sign, he wondered whether this was an office or a stock market. The garden was lined with exotic trees, ones with pointed, slim green leaves sprouting from the top like a baby’s first hair. Shrubs and bushes shuffled and grouped underneath these slim giants and hogged the sun’s rays with millions of multicoloured flowers, which are struck and tugged on by the local colony insects for nectar. Lexiconus understood that the wildlife in this region is a lot bigger than the flowers offered in these pre-arranged paradises.

He parked his swoop on the path inside the garden, then approached the main building. He sensed nothing from inside, so he walked around the gravel path, his blue feet crunching the gravel as he looked around for signs of this representative. From entering the back region of the complex, he saw a raised platform with four high-powered flood lights that sat on a black coated pad. Then from a large white cloud, a small yacht descends quickly, slowing its speed to line up with the landing pad. The legs extended as the hissing and whirring of the hydraulics and engines slowed to a halt. Then, from an unfolding door with stairs, waddled an obese, panting, blue Twi’lek. His head tails were stuck under his folded neck and many golden bracelets lined the upper part of the head tails. His chubby hands were already gripped onto some unknown, bare piece of meat that the bone was visible to the air. With a datapad in another hand, he waddled further from the yacht, off the landing pad and towards Lexiconus. With a wave of his meat-stained hand, he walked ahead of Lexiconus. The confused Togruta followed as he kept the silence, but kept his ears open. The Twi’lek continued to walk to a small bay, where a grey cruiser sat. A’lir then proceeded to unlock it and offer Lexiconus the driver’s seat. With a nod, the silent Togruta sat inside, as A’lir waddled around and shoved his body into the passenger seat beside Lex, tossing the cold meat on a bone away. “Giletta Spaceport, quickly.” With a nod, Lexiconus closed both doors and sped away. Not a finer example of professionalism in all of Estle City.

“I am glad that you understood my silence. Not many of my employees are fond of this line of work that you’re doing, but I am prepared to stain myself in order to prove a point.” Lex frowned softly, as he tried to wonder which idea in question he was referring to, noticing the stain was both physically on his hand, and psychologically.

“You see…” A’lir whispered. “…I can find these ‘off-worlders’ simply. Just head into the Slippery saarlac and you’re bound to notice someone odd or out-of-place, with several friends and blasters on their hips.” Lexiconus remained silent, taking in all the opinions of A’lir, while driving the cruiser into the city once more.

“I have done nothing personally to them, it’s what I represent, and i’ll bet you two Gamorrean Hochs that they will intervene in the future, mark those words boy.” A’lir gave the impression of wise words, which in Lex’s mind was a good cover for naivety and cowardice. Then, as if a needle prick in the back of Lex’s neck, he felt a strong resistance to driving further, he slammed the cruiser to a halt, landing on the side road in the industrial route. He could indeed feel something out of place. “Stay here.” Lex ordered the Twi’lek, with a nod A’lir opened the door for Lex and the Togruta stood and walked out, hiding his lightsaber under his robe. Without a second thought, Lexiconus is forced into a tumble, rolling along the asphalt road, with heavy grunting and furry hands choking his neck.

With a quick, and energetic boost, Lexiconus rolled onto his stomach and thrusted his knees up between him and the Bothan, slamming them into his stomach. As the Bothan curled to hold his stomach, Lexiconus took the advantage to stand and flick his lightsaber hilt from his belt. Without a second thought, the crippled Bothan leapt onto all four limbs and scurried away with speed. The Togruta decided to give chase, as he noticed the Bothan stand and point his blaster towards him. With a quick shock of fear and a rush of adrenaline, Lexiconus darted, not knowing he dropped his lightsaber as he rolled towards an electrical control circuit.

Slammed his back into the control circuit, Lex jumped slightly and gripped his back, he felt the warmth of blood treacle down his fingers as he felt the stinging burn wound more. Thankfully just a scrap, but any closer and he would be dead. “Enough of the games Ra’agala! There’s no honour in back-stabbing!” Lexiconus exclaimed from behind the circuits. For a Krath, he considered it rare for him to say that. Before Lex could react to anything, the Bothan stood with a orcish smirk to the left of him, squeezing a giant metal pipe from somewhere. With a strong push of his arm, waves of the Force carried the Bothan back into a fence and slammed him off the metal.

Lex took this valuable second to stand and run onto the road, where he watched the Bothan from behind slowly rise and point his blaster. Lex searched the road for his lightsaber quickly, then the hilt jumped from under the cruiser and slammed into Lex’s hand. The emerald blade ignited upon contact as Ra’agala began to fire continuously. Lex blocked a few, while some of the shots hit his robes, tearing them. He gave no mercy or time, delivering one shot after another. With little time to waste, Lex needed a contingency plan. “I can do this all day Ra’agala! Can you?” The Togruta striked at the Bothan’s confidence, smirking at the growling but hesitant bounty hunter.

The angered beast dropped the pipe and blaster, then walked to Lex. The Togruta slowly looked to the cruiser, seeing the Twi’lek waving his arms in disagreement with hand to hand combat. With a rush of confidence as well as adrenaline, Lex ran at the beastly Bothan, tackling his stomach rather weakly. The beastly male took advantage of this hold by slamming his elbow into Lex’s wound, forcing him to kneel onto the floor. Now at the mercy of the Bothan, he closes his eyes and awaits the beating. After mere seconds of heavy elbows into Lex’s wound, Ra’agala roared out and collapsed over Lex’s fragile body. Struggling to break free from his furry cage, Lex finally rolled the corpse off and stood to see A’lir with the Bothan’s blaster. “You were going to be killed, but I won’t tell if you don’t.” Lex slowly held his hips in agony and nodded, limping to the cruiser.

“Well thank you so much for your services as security, Lexiconus. You are helping the greater cause of protecting this Spaceport from slumdog delegates. You can return content about my safety.” A’lir muffled from another meat-on-bone in his hands. After many routine hours of checking cargo identification, running ship and mechanical serial numbers, and photographing each landing bay, the feeling of content and conclusion was not mutually shared with Lexiconus. “Ra’agala was just a number, he can be replaced.” A’lir sighed and nodded with agreement. “You are right, but so can I. The big house, the luxury cruiser and private security, all from the agency’s profits. The death of me would not matter, if you failed, the Trade Regulations would find another, and another after him.” For some tingling feeling, Lex felt like this short-lived job was not without emotion. “Get that back looked at.” The Twi’lek shooed Lexiconus off from the shipyard, as this feeling was certainly mutual. Lex found himself a transport service and took it back to the Shadow Lord’s office.

Contract: Complete

[ Needs Work - 1 Point ]

Notes:

Lexic,

Your storytelling is getting there. It’s much better, your descriptions and pacing are getting better. However, it was hard for me to enjoy your tale with the amount of tense lapses, syntax issues, and pacing through your formatting. I’m being probably very hard on this grading, but only because I know you can do better. I expect it, as well.

Here are some things that stand out as to why I went with “Needs Improvement”

The lead sentence is grammatically incorrect. Here are two different ways you could word it to make it work better in the future:

With swift haste, Lexiconus raced to the spaceport. He kept his eyes on the road as it exited Estle City.

or

Lexiconus made haste to the spaceport, eyes on the road before him as it exited Estele City.

Try reading things out loud to yourself. You’ll hear why things sound off grammatically. Don’t be afraid to re-write a sentence multiple times–I do it all the time as well when re-reading my own work.

Also, you then clump everything into one paragraph. Don’t be afraid to break things up. Typically, ever 4-line breaks you should be able to do a new paragraph, give or take depending on how you want to pace your story. When doing internal thought, try and use italics so we know it’s internal. Also anytime there is something like that, it should be on it’s own line.

was a lot* <- watch your tense issues.

Word repetition. Try and use synonyms or other descriptors. you use gravel twice.